Saturday 21 September 2013

My Time Was Great, But The Topic Is Over!



My Time Was Great, But The Topic Is Over!

Here again is a story that motivated me into writing this now, though I have the hunch to write about it sometimes ago. It’s the statement of new dazzling world-class assist king – Mesut Ozil. Being the surprise last day summer signing of Arsenal football club of England, there was a lot of noise and talks about him, some wondering why Real Madrid f.c. could let him go, and some wondering why Arsenal? Throughout the international break from club football to world cup qualifiers, he became the easy topic of discussion. Immediately after the break, his appearance in London gave him chance to respond to some of these probing questions, and someone ask him directly, “Why did you leave Madrid? You are having a great time!” his answer was short and very direct, “In Madrid, my time was great, but the topic was over!”
Hmm, what could that mean to or for me? Letting Go! I discover many people are like me, I love finding a convenient thing and place and will stick to it if nothing happens. Yes, sometimes I pride myself in it because it might mean loyalty, at times, but most times its fear of letting go. Yes not of the past alone, but of many things. Many people don’t know when to let go and start initiating change.
This brings to my remembrance the book written by Dr. Spencer Johnson, titled who moved my Cheese? In the book, Dr. Johnson categorized people into three characters. Humans being possessive and assertive takes everything after a long spell even, brilliantly good times, as if it would last forever, thereby resting and relaxing, falling into abysmal of routine, uninteresting living; a life that hardly experience change! Since the only thing that’s permanent is change, either we initiate, the environment or people around us initiated change, change is certain! But people like Littlepeople Hem, a character in the book earlier mentioned, will respond angrily and are the most disappointed and that are really hurt the most, because they don’t foresee change, they don’t want it, and want to fight against it… a battle they can never won.
Hearing of the statistic of divorce rate and even breakage of love relationship, I could feel many people finding it too difficult to let go. Not that most of these people didn’t see the signs of the relationship collapsing, but they fear to think about starting all over and prefer sticking with the relationship until they go down with it! Those that were a shock, like the sudden death of a loved one, could not pick up again, not because of the so called love they had for the departed, but mostly because they are not prepare to stand and live alone with the new status and responsibility again.
I heard of a lady that was in a relationship with a guy in Nigeria, the guy after about four years in relationship traveled out of the country in pursuit of the golden fleece. On getting there, he had to marry another lady to get stay, which the lady in Nigeria is aware of, and that was how two years passed; the lady in Nigeria is still waiting for the walk down the aisle, turning down other possible offers. All in all, the relationship reach a total of eight years, the guy now having spent four years outside the country, yet the lady still keep hope alive that the guy will still marry after the marriage abroad is over two years. What an example of a lady that didn’t want to let go. Yes years passed and her possibility of get hooked up began to dwindle, up till now she is yet to be engaged.
A woman/lady that is used to being taken care of by a guy/man will find the cheating and or beating of such men more endurable than letting go of such relationship as abusive as it is; or why do you think many woman/ladies stick with such men in relationship? (Note: taken care of could mean material, sexual etc.)
I heard of another man who is a computer engineer, and was working on contract with a company. His pay at the start was really good and soon enough, he got cozy with the work, since his private business which he had before he got the contract was not a success.  He soon find the income/salary more stable than that of his business, so he didn’t plan for a negative change and even contemplate selling his business. Soon afterwards, the manger he works with started cheating him, delaying his pay and breaking it up. When the manger still see that the man offer little resistance, he announce that his contract pay will be reduce, and in 6 month his pay was reduced to almost half. Yet this man still to this work, not minding even the delay in receiving his pay and even owing him his salary, he still want to stay because of the security he had attached to salary. He was plainly afraid of going back to the business world where, you loose today, you gain tomorrow is the order. He wants stable security! And though the topic is over at the job, he still kept the press conference on, until there was light out!
What are you afraid of doing or losing?
Why are you afraid of letting go? Or
Why are you afraid of starting all over again?
I heard of another man who rose from zero to own a company worth millions of dollars, but one day, disaster struck and the company was totally destroyed. The second day, the man was found at the rubble of the ruins, and when asked what he was doing, he said, “I build this with nothing except my brain, but now I have my brains still with this rubble, with these I can do better than before! and on that same spot he rebuild a greater company, while many people in his shoes would have their suicide or attempted suicide in the news the following day!
Don’t wait for the sack letter, make the change happen.
Don’t endure till retirement, make the change happen.
Lastly, I read this in a book; it’s the story of a reunion of a church. At the dinner, various people that had worship in the church before were sharing their experiences, then a middle age man, a billionaire, stood up and said, “I could remember when this auditorium was being built, being an eight year old boy I heard the pastor asking for offering and donations for its completion, so I went home and break my clay jar savings, and brought one dollar, which is all that’s there, to the pastor and he blessed me. Today I can say I am blessed because of that offering.” As people were applauding, an old woman stood up and raised her voice about the ovation, she said, “Son, I dare you to do it again! Give all up to God!”
My dear reader, you have worked hard to be here, but are you not getting hooked with routine, and even afraid of change?
What if anything happens in that relationship, in that business or company you work with, can you manage to say,
“I had a great time; but the topic is over,” And move on?
 


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