FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS: Sight and Touch

FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS: Sight and Touch

A woman can see a naked handsome man fifty times, yet she might not lose her sense. Whereas, if a half naked beautiful woman passes by a man once, his pace would be distorted. Meanwhile, fifty casual touches may not move a man while a single gentle touch can cause disarray in a woman’s life. What a man’s touch is to a woman, the nakedness of a woman is to man!

An average man is tempted everywhere; he looks at a carelessly dressed lady, be it in the office, school, internet, T.V, movies, billboards or magazines. It is now unfortunate that the only safe place an average man can sleep and close his two eyes, the church, is no longer secure, all in the name of, ‘come as you are’ or ‘it’s the heart that matters’ cliché.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ONE CAN SAY TO HER?

If not all women, for we can not talk of others who has a different moral standard, at least Christian women should be very careful not to make men stumble because of how they dress. It is not easy for a man to touch a woman anyhow, so their possibility of tempting a woman through touch as women tempt men through their sight is abysmally low. Therefore, when men come to church, they should be able to have a quality break from this assault, and be able to rest.

However, immodest dressing cannot be ELIMINATED, it can only be reduced. So, men must learn to discipline their eyes and control their sexual urges in this age of immodesty. You cannot control what others wear, but you can control what your eyes feed on.

#ItsAllAboutRelationship

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I LOVE YOU… SO?

“I LOVE YOU… SO?”

Why this post?

“I Love You,” is a simple word that is presupposes to be understood by everyone, even babies, but, sincerely speaking I believe that the 3 words are the most misunderstood, and or most under-understood.

If I may ask you as a reader what does I Love means to you?

Yes take a sec. to think. But while you are thinking let me tell you what I believe “I love you” is and does means. And how best to use it, and accept it when it is used on us.

Sincerely, the phrase is just a STATEMENT of feelings and opinion of someone about you. It might be wrong or right, that is left for you to find out.

There are other situations that it might means a response, from a grateful heart to actions or words received.

Therefore, I Love You is a response to what one feels and thinks about you, your actions, words, kindness etc.

The problem is, “I Love You” is not an objective statement, it is very subjective, and can change if and when what necessitate the feelings of expressing it in the first place changes. This means I Love You need to be maintained and sustained either by what necessitate it in the first place or by other things. For example, the centre of attraction that might necessitate a man to say the words might be something related to the physical, (complexion, shape etc) but it might be sustain by the lady’s show of other sides to her like intelligence, diligence etc.

Many have make this error… in trying very hard initially to gain this response from the other, while lacking the will to continually pursue those things in order to continue to receive those responses. This is what is later known as Hypocrisy or Pretense.

How best to use I Love You is to be ready to continually do those things that you are doing that best guarantee you a positive result in response. The gifts must not stop, the time spending and sharing must not reduce if not increased, the thoughtful things and selflessness in taking care first of him/her must not change in the future to the ME with capital letters.

This is the absolute responsibility of saying those 3 words!

This is what is called COMMITMENT!

So if you are not ready don’t say it!

#ItsAllAboutRelationship

#oluthomas

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Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line

Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line

 

I spent a good part of a week recently getting to know a new woman online, and I could sense the potential. I could admire her good looks, dark eyes, and flashing wit. And yet there was something that wasn’t coming across. I couldn’t decipher it right away. I was hopeful and encouraged by our promising start. And her persistence in getting back together again the next day. “Spontaneously.” I loved that. “Yes, yes, yes,” it said to my brain.

But …

In my joyous engagement I was missing something from her that I couldn’t identify. I thought I was listening well, responding well, and behaving well. I thought we were moving things along nicely. But I could only make those assumptions about myself and my own thinking. While she was sharing a lot about life and asking a lot of questions about me, she wasn’t really lighting up. She was … reserved. She admitted to being an introvert, and I initially thought, “Oh, that’ll be interesting, to see how I am in relationship to an introvert.”

And even in the real world, with all of our faculties between us, the miss between us was something deeper. After three meetings and the promise of an actual “date” for the weekend ahead, I was feeling good and yet still mixed. I walked away from our last meeting wondering, “Am I the one pushing this one along? Am I making this one happen? Am I trying to invent my lover?”

The next morning, she pinged me saying she’d considered our time together and felt it wasn’t going to be a match for her. She was canceling the date. And she would catch up with me spontaneously as the occasion might arise in the future.

I was disappointed, but not totally surprised.

I had been feeling the miss, but I was trying to force it to be a match. I wanted “her” to work. And that’s when I understood it was time to kill my online dating profiles. I WANT a relationship too much. My focus has gotten lost in all this browsing, assessing, and pursuit. What I really need to pursue is my dream and my creative output. I am confident that if I do that, the rest will follow.

I have time for a relationship. I have the will and the energy. And if I want to meet a match, I need to put myself and my life in the places where “she” already is. In real life, not online.

Sure, I will have another great love. But first, I must become the great lover I hope to meet, by becoming large enough to call her in, without the help of a dating site.

Always Love,

written by John McElhenney




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