BE THE BEST WIFE OF THE YEAR

10 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOU BETTER

by Pastor Bisi Adewale

1. MAKE HIM YOUR PRIORITY. Create time for him, put him in your daily schedule, let him be number one on your ‘to do’ list.

2. GIVE HIM A ‘MONTH OF APPRECIATION’. At the end of the month in the presence of the children, thank him for taking good care of the family throughout the month.

3. GIVE HIM A ‘YEAR OF APPRECIATION’. At the end of the year, organize an end of the year party for the whole family and take your time to appreciate him for being loving throughout the years. Make the children do the same.

4. BE CREATIVE. Don’t be predictable. Do many creative things; be creative in the kitchen, in your dressing and in the bedroom. Do many things to surprise him.

5. NEVER SOUND LIKE HIS MOTHER. Stop correcting him authoritatively; only suggest. Don’t order him around, don’t criticize him, don’t condemn him, be full of praise and commendation.

6. NEVER BE STAGNANT. Improve, become better. Move forward be a better wife, be a better mother, a better lover, be more creative. Develop yourself. Know more than your mother, be better than who you were last year.

7. ENJOY FOREPLAY WITH HIM. Enjoy it when he fondles you, kisses you or touches you in a special way for sex. Be involved in it, be part of foreplay, if he touches you, touch him. If he kisses you, kiss him; pay him back in his own coin.

8. GIVE HIM LOVE MAKING NOT MATING. Don’t mate like animals, make love. Don’t just have sexual intercourse, have a sexual relationship. Be excited about sex with him, put on a smiling face, and be totally involved in bed. Never lie down like a log that has no feeling.

9. NEVER COMMIT ADULTERY, BUT COMMIT LOVE. Never allow any other man to sleep with you; you are too big for that, sleep with only your husband.

10. NEVER BE A BEDROOM FAILURE. Men can tolerate almost everything from their wives except bedroom failure. So improve, learn and become a terrific wife.

Your views are most welcome...

WHAT CAN I GIVE YOU?

Every year since I've been successful my mother would ask me this question,
“What do you want for Christmas? You are so hard to shop for.”
I really didn't want her to give me anything but she insisted. I knew it was driving her crazy trying to figure out what to get for me, so about eight years ago I told her that all I wanted were flannel PJs.


So every year for about four years she would go to Wal-Mart and buy me some flannel PJs. Every Christmas I would smile. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the tops were so short that the sleeves where almost to my elbow and the bottoms were well above my ankle. I would just thank her and smile. She was so happy. Needless to say, over the years I collected a nice group of PJs that were all too small. I have a drawer full of them. I was getting ready for work this morning and I came across a pair of them. I smiled so hard. It made me remember her smile when she gave them to me. It made my heart warm. I thought about how much she loved Christmas. I thought about how much she loved me. I thought about... well, I just thought about her.

This year, as we enter into the holiday season and some of you are worried about what to buy or if you can afford to buy anything, I want you to remember this story. My mother’s gift came from the heart and a gift that comes from the heart is more valuable than the most expensive thing in this world. She died four years ago and those PJs are still giving me joy. I think I'm going to sleep in them tonight :-). High waters and all... I thought about sending you a picture of me in them but I'm afraid of what the blogs will write... LOL.
I can see it now, "Tyler Perry has gone crazy, look at what he sleeps in.”

I hope you have the best holiday season.
Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.
God bless.



by TYLER PERRY

 Your views are most welcome...

JUST MARRIED? HERE IS 5 TIPS FOR YOU...

5 Marriage Tips

by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin

* * * I wish someone would have told me before I got married. * * *

It can take newly-married couples awhile to get used to living with a permanent roommate whom they love but may be very different. You may have been too starry-eyed at the beginning of your relationship to listen to any marriage advice, and perhaps now wish you didn’t learn some things the hard way. Here are five marriage tips I wish someone would have told me before I got married:

1. Revise your expectations. We all have expectations for marriage, whether they are from relationships we personally witnessed like our parents or from portrayals in society- at-large. But expectations set us up for disappointment. Every relationship is unique and it is impossible to expect your marriage to be exactly like anything you’ve ever seen before. Your marriage may not be picture-perfect, but then what? You can either remain disappointed or discover how this relationship is a gift for you and an opportunity to create something even better. Great relationships do not happen overnight. They take years of investment and care by both partners. You may be able to form the relationship of your dreams, but don’t expect it to be that way immediately following your wedding.

2. Don’t give unsolicited advice to your spouse. One of the most common mistakes that couples make is to provide unsolicited advice to each other. While you may have good intentions, your spouse may not see it that way. Unsolicited advice can come across as criticism and invalidating of your spouse’s feelings. If your husband complains all the time that he is feeling down and you suggest he go to a therapist, he may feel you are just trying to fix him and you don’t really care about his feelings when all he wants to do is vent and be heard. Unsolicited advice can also make your spouse feel like you are being bossy, controlling, or condescending, even if you are only trying to be helpful. Ask your spouse if he/she is open to feedback before opening your mouth and a potential can of worms.

3. Limit outsiders from your relationship. It’s hard transforming two separate lives into one. Couples often feel that they shouldn’t leave their old friends out of their new life and want to include them as much as possible. You may also feel the need to go out with other couples. Realize that it is important for you and your spouse to have alone time where you can build your relationship, and while it is thoughtful to include others, it’s not always healthy for your marriage. Many newlyweds can become insecure about their spouse if they spend time with other couples. You may feel the need to compare which will generate negative feelings about your spouse. Don’t become a hermit, but do put your marriage first and make spending quality time alone with your spouse a priority, even if it means not always including others.

4. Your spouse is not you. One of the rude- awakenings couples face when they get married is that your spouse is not you. As much as you may have been blinded during the romantic stage (“We’re so alike! I feel like we’ve known each other forever”), at some point you have woken up to the harsh reality that you married an “other.” This “other,” as lovable as he/she is, has different thoughts, feelings, and opinions than you do. He/she may see the world completely differently and that’s okay. The ability to honor the world of the other is a key ingredient to successful relationships. As challenging as it may be that our spouse is not an extension of ourselves, it serves us well by compelling us to grow into becoming more accepting and other-focused. Learn to love and cherish those differences as that’s what makes your spouse unique.

5. The 90/10 rule. This rule posits that 10% of anything that really makes our blood boil is the cause of the actual stimulus, while 90% of our reaction is due to what it is being triggered within us. (Hey, it’s not an exact science.) If you take ownership for your disproportionate reactions, you will undoubtedly see that you are responding so strongly because of what this offense is evoking for you from your past. For example, if you have an “irrational” response to when your husband loses his phone or misplaces his keys, think about how that may remind you of something from your past. Were you reprimanded for being careless growing up or did you feel like you were forced into a role to be the “responsible one” when no one else in your life was? While most people may be annoyed by such behavior, if you feel your reaction is overly strong, that’s a good clue that the 90/10 rule may be at work. The 90/10 rule removes the power struggle with your spouse and helps you realize that it is really not all about him/her. Taking ownership for your reaction will help you view the behavior in a new light and not react as strongly, allowing for your relationship to be healthier. While this does not excuse the 10% your spouse did to contribute to the conflict, it helps put everything into perspective, taking the edge off the situation and preventing explosive damage to the relationship.

You can never fully prepare for marriage. And these tips can help you create the relationship of your dreams.

this piece is culled from the fhl Family Life Networks Int. facebook group.


Your views are most welcome...

LET GO KICK THE BALL...

How prepared are you to take the kick?

            Success is sweet and can easily be attained when one is prepared to take the Begovic shot whenever any opportunities present itself.

            Asmir Begovic made history in the English premier league on Saturday November 2 when he dared to take a shot 13 seconds into the match between his club, Stoke city, and Southampton. Not only did the kick resulted stoke city’s only goal of the match winning for them a point, but it also set a new record as the longest goal shot. The shot is a whopping 97.5meters, setting a new premier league record of long distance shot.

            On kicking the ball, the wind caught it up in the air and as Southampton goaltender ran to pick it, assisted by the wind; it bounced and makes a wicked turn toward the goal having beaten the keeper. The rest is history!

But had he dared to kick that ball?

            No one can tell which of his kick will be carried, assisted, bounced and guided to the goal by Mother Nature’s wind of change.

            Surely success is for the prepared, and those that are ready to risk taking the shot even when they can’t see how or when the wind will do the assist!

            You don’t kick the ball; you don’t get the chance of being assisted and carried in the air and bounced by goodwill to be landed at the goal of success.

Take a shot today no matter how little – just be Consistent!

Begovic is expected to be the goalkeeper not the goal kicker; no matter the odds... kick that BALL!

 





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DIVORCE: It Starts From Sleeping Apart

DIVORCE: It Starts From Sleeping Apart

Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between married couples.[1] According to ultimate reference suite 2012, divorce is the act by which a valid marriage is dissolved, usually freeing the parties to remarry. In regions in which ancient religious authority still predominates, divorce may be difficult and rare, especially when, as among Roman Catholics and Hindus, the religious tradition views marriage as indissoluble.[2] To me DIV-ORCE is a combination of two root words, DIVide and fORCE… simply put, divorce means divide by force. Mathematically:

Divorce: 2 word = 1

Div: - from DIVide

orce: - from fORCE

Altogether divorce = divide by force

But actually divorce doesn’t happen just like that, it happens gradually which could be averted or curb if and when early diagnosis is available, the absence of which could be terminal to the life of the marriage.

DIVORCE BY INSTALLMENT is what I called what people know as separation. Separation in law is a mutual agreement by a husband and a wife to discontinue living together. A legal separation does not dissolve the marriage contract but merely adjusts the couple's obligations under it in the light of their desire to live separately. Practically, however, separation is often a prelude to divorce. Such agreements usually contain provisions on the care and support of children if there is any.

But I see Separation as when the signs of divorce are popping up, but the couples decided to do nothing as team to stop it, but are hoping something does for them… may be an act of God! And sincerely separation doesn’t start in the lawyer’s office, it stat when couples decide to have separate rooms. No matter the reason it has the seed of someone craving privacy from the other!

What are the signs of divorce? One over ruling all others is Breakdown in meaningful, successful, quality communication. Many things can lead to this but when there is began the gradual, steady o unsteady decline in the quality of what is being communicated, then that is a time bomb… a disaster waiting to happen!

Watch out you might be going down there!

---

[1] “Divorce” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce accessed on 8th of October 2013, 3:44am

[2] “Divorce” (2012). Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite.  Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica.

 



Your views are most welcome...

DIVORCE: It Starts From Sleeping Apart

DIVORCE: It Starts From Sleeping Apart

Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the termination of a marital union, the canceling of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and the dissolving of the bonds of matrimony between married couples.[1] According to ultimate reference suite 2012, divorce is the act by which a valid marriage is dissolved, usually freeing the parties to remarry. In regions in which ancient religious authority still predominates, divorce may be difficult and rare, especially when, as among Roman Catholics and Hindus, the religious tradition views marriage as indissoluble.[2] To me DIV-ORCE is a combination of two root words, DIVide and fORCE… simply put, divorce means divide by force. Mathematically:

Divorce: 2 word = 1

Div: - from DIVide

orce: - from fORCE

Altogether divorce = divide by force

But actually divorce doesn’t happen just like that, it happens gradually which could be averted or curb if and when early diagnosis is available, the absence of which could be terminal to the life of the marriage.

DIVORCE BY INSTALLMENT is what I called what people know as separation. Separation in law is a mutual agreement by a husband and a wife to discontinue living together. A legal separation does not dissolve the marriage contract but merely adjusts the couple's obligations under it in the light of their desire to live separately. Practically, however, separation is often a prelude to divorce. Such agreements usually contain provisions on the care and support of children if there is any.

But I see Separation as when the signs of divorce are popping up, but the couples decided to do nothing as team to stop it, but are hoping something does for them… may be an act of God! And sincerely separation doesn’t start in the lawyer’s office, it stat when couples decide to have separate rooms. No matter the reason it has the seed of someone craving privacy from the other!

What are the signs of divorce? One over ruling all others is Breakdown in meaningful, successful, quality communication. Many things can lead to this but when there is began the gradual, steady o unsteady decline in the quality of what is being communicated, then that is a time bomb… a disaster waiting to happen!

Watch out you might be going down there!

---

[1] “Divorce” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce accessed on 8th of October 2013, 3:44am

[2] “Divorce” (2012). Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite.  Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica.

 



Your views are most welcome...

I Am Single And Happy!

Singleness

            There are many misconceptions about being single, and many people had been rushed into what happen to be a fatal mistake. Some also have the mentality that if you are single you aren’t whole, that’s why they say, ‘your better half’ which is totally out of place, as there is nothing like a better half. When God create, He made whole persons, not half and half, but

whole, complete, single person! And we are expected to still maintain ou singleness in and after marriage.

            Being single as in single digit mathematically means a whole number, therefore single means a complete whole person, either married or unmarried. The problem is that people take being single to mean being unmarried. They are surely two different things. The first is the quality of life of a person while the latter is a status. The quality of a person can only be changed by attitude and mindset; while that of a status can be changed by any occasion or ceremony.

            Singleness means to be separate, unique and whole – Complete! Singleness is a gift from God that you must attain and maintain to be successful in life and even in Marriage. Marriage will not and will never complete you if you are not already a complete entity as an unmarried ‘singles’! Singleness is what you have to become and retain even after marriage.

            Singleness is not a temporary status, it is a quality of life – unmarried is a temporary status, but singleness means you are a complete whole person. You don’t need another person to complete you. Therefore there is nothing like your better half except you are not complete or whole before.

            A real single, whole complete person is not only someone who has matured physically, but all other areas of his/her personality: psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Psychologically/mentally, a person is complete when that person has learned and mastered the art of independent progressive thinking. Which mean such is develop to the point of not only knowing right and wrong but also being able to reason and contribute intellectually to the success of the relationship. It also include being able to constructively criticize and offer meaningful thoughtful advice or suggestions that will or can lead to the progress of the partner and improvement in the quality of life and that of the relationship.

Emotionally, a completely whole person will not only have mastered the art of putting his/her emotions in check and very controlled, but also have learned to understand other people and how to deal with each individual separately, separating issues from personalities.

Spiritually, a whole person is someone that has the understanding and commitment to a faith in God, and that none can successfully live to the fullest without His backing. He/she also is aware and prepared for a spiritual life, knowing fully well that the spiritual life controls the physical.

Socially a complete person is not a nuisance, but a sight to behold. He/she is relevant with issues, accommodating, friendly and approachable... so full of goodness. He/she must have a very good dress sense, yet be modest. Not only these, must be able to cook, use computer and phone!

Lastly, a wholly complete single must be financially whole. Yes, but not as you mean, ehn, I mean you lady. You want a man that will provide you with everything you want without you working for anything... being financially means wealthy or rich in your sense but he/she must have a job, an apartment, with basic amenities. He/she must be honest and sincere about finance, and must have investment mentality.

1 whole person x 1 whole person = 1 whole marriage

            Yes, we are expected to remain single after marriage. Marriage should not and must not erase our individuality and singleness! We are to bring our individuality into marriage to make it unique and successful. Your marriage is not marriage until you have put your individual single flavour!

Enjoy Your Singleness;

Be Single And Happy!

 



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