WHO SAYS YOUR WEDDING DRESS MUST BE WHITE?

WHO SAYS YOUR WEDDING DRESS MUST BE WHITE?

In my previous article titled: WEDDING: THE FACT, THE MYTH AND MEANING OF THE WHITE WEDDING GOWN; where I submitted that white wedding dress is of whatever value we place on it, I have since been confronted by some people who think that without the bride wearing the generally accepted white wedding dress, the wedding is not WHITE or CHRISTIAN! What a delusion! The purpose of the a fore-mentioned article is to help the youth especially the ladies realize the beginning of the WHITE wedding dress through objective historical background and cultural developments and be able to draw conclusions themselves. But it is like there is need for a more direct approach to helping us realize what is practical and in line with our Faith.

Some days back a young man mail me informing me of his intention to ‘marry’ his fiancé without plans for going to church. He told me that they will just go for customary introduction and paid the Bride-price (or Pride-price), and just bring her home afterwards. When I ask why, he said the need to set-up, and still maintains the family necessitate that he do it that way or else he will have to wait for years. When I still insisted on going to church he said, “Bros, don’t you know that guys don’t want to do church wedding again, it’s a pack of lies!”

 

Now I realize that too many people have put too much importance to the WHITE in the wedding dress even more than the WEDDING BIBLE and the Pastoral blessing! The white wedding dress has come to mean purity (especially as Baptist have taught their Girls and Ladies), so brides grew up dreaming, fantasizing and preferring to wear it as a declaration of a sort to the church that they are STILL pure, even when over 80% of those that wear it to receive the pastoral blessing aren’t pure whatsoever but just to keep the appearance. Such people are among those who will vehemently frown at the issue of not using the white wedding dress. But Sister, if you know you want it so badly why not live a life worthy of it?  Oops its’ no mistake... but choice! 

I used to believe that white wedding gown means purity but last ten years had taught me that, that isn’t so. And in the last one year I have come to believe that a white wedding dressing now means, “thank God, My secret is covered!” or “at least this is my first time of getting married!” this actually prompted me to search for the practices over years and come to understand that colours means different thing in each culture. But when has the Church came to accept white as the official Colour for the bride wedding dress?

Queen Victoria decided to wear what she adore on her wedding day in 1840, but then when many saw it, especially the colour, a new trend was born. In time the church embraced this trend for religious reasons: baptism, especially in Catholic Church, they wear white gowns; also at Confirmations which is the act of pledging their faith and thus becoming full acting members of the church, white is the dress to wear. Therefore a white dress has become the accepted garment worn by women when they are making religious vows, marriage being one. But it must be noted that this is the case for both male and female!

What this means to a modern bride is that YOU ARE FREE TO WEAR ANY COLOUR YOU WANT. As a matter of fact, few brides these days actually wears a TRUE white dress, even though they believe it to make their wedding ‘white’ and ‘Christian’, true white dress according to Courtney of onewed.com doesn’t look good on many skin tones and instead such brides go for ivory, beige, and off-white not counting other shades of whites that is available (in the light of this Queen Victoria white dress will only pass as cream or ivory).

As far as I know there is no church that refuses to join the couple base on the colour of the bride’s wedding dress! According to answers obtained from AskACatholic.com, (catholic being the most strict about religious vows) there is no church law against wedding dress colour because customs vary from place to place.

The Pentecostals will want to use Rev. 19:8 as the basis for the bride wearing white as an ideal. But I believe that the context talk of the righteousness given to the bride as an act of grace by Christ Himself, but here the bride’s white wedding dress has been taken to mean a declaration of one’s righteous/purity state! More so, I stand to be prove wrong, most people that wear white wedding dress now aren’t sexually pure but hiding to keep face under this lie in the church! Why keep this lies on in the church? When will this lies stop at the altar of God, just because we read and attach too much importance to White? The physical purity should be encouraged and celebrated but surely this white dress and veil is a bag of lies the church and the ladies must kick out of our believe system, except we can have more better ways of showing the class!

Some tradition even said that someone remarrying for second may not wear white and must not use veil as veil means that the bride is still a Virgil as at the time of the wedding, but sincerely if we have to be truthful to this “Church tradition” how many do you think really qualify to wear the white and the veil? Then white make all this noise about every bride wearing white or it isn’t Christian marriage?

 


#wedding_dress #weddinggown #bride #wedding
#oluthomas_sharing_the_love


Your views are most welcome...

5 TRAITS THAT MOST WOMEN FOUND IRRESISTIBLE

There’s a reason you’re attracted to certain people. One of those reasons is whether or not that person is masculine or feminine. We’re most strongly sexually attracted to people who have the opposite sexual essence of our own. This is not a male-female thing (you can be a man who identifies as more feminine, and vice versa); it’s more about energy. What this means is that the traits that make you distinctly masculine are the traits that attracts the feminine the most.

By no means am I saying that as a man, you must have these qualities to appear attractive to a female. Nor am I saying that every woman is going to want a man with the qualities that I describe below. But I’m saying that a lot of women do.

Here are five distinctly masculine traits that the feminine finds irresistible:

1. Presence

There is something about a man who is present that is just flat-out irresistible to a woman. There’s no getting around it; it’s just true.

What I mean when I say presence is your ability to be consciously connected to the here and now.

A woman can feel your presence when you listen to her. She can feel your presence when you are deeply engaged in a task that’s important to you. She can feel your presence when you’re connected to your core.

Presence is a practice. It’s something you can get better at. Culturally, we’re in an epidemic of not being present; we find many ways to distract ourselves all day long. But if you want to learn to be more present, you can! The easiest way to do so is to start a meditation practice. Meditation will train you to connect to the here and now.

2. Purpose

A man with a purpose in life is hot.

Your purpose can be any number of things. It can be to change the world. It can be to push your body to its limits. It can be to build a business or build homes. It can be to be to make art, or to be the kindest person you know.

It’s not about what your purpose is (although, honestly, the more it benefits humanity, the better — but that’s just my opinion). What matters is that you have a purpose or that you’re in the process of discovering it.

If you don’t feel connected to your purpose yet, the best way to find it is to ask yourself what you’re most passionate about. Your purpose is usually about sharing your passion with the world.

3. Direction

With purpose comes direction. Purpose is knowing what you are here to do and direction is doing it.

The feminine essence is more an essence of feeling and being. Yes, we do things (most of us do a lot!). But we’re very attracted to men who get things done. He has a plan, and he’s taking steps (even small ones) to accomplish it. This is a man’s direction.

Your clear direction makes the feminine feel safe. If she knows that you can navigate well on your own, then she has more room to relax in your presence. She doesn’t have to show you how to do it, because you already know how. (We like that.)

4. Honesty and trust

Obviously, trust and honesty are important qualities in all relationships. Trust comes from acting in honest ways, but the definition goes beyond that. What I mean when I say trust is, can a woman trust that you’re being honest with yourself?

One of the distinct feminine qualities is intuition — and with our intuition comes the ability to sense your BS from a mile away.

When you learn to be deeply honest with yourself (about your struggles, shortcomings, challenges, strengths, all of it), then a woman will feel your integrity. And she’ll trust you, too.

5. Humor

As you already know, humor is at the top of every woman’s list for a potential partner. But why is this? Because humor has the ability to lighten a mood!

The feminine gets bogged down with her emotions, as well as her to-do lists. This is very stressful for us! If you can make a woman laugh, it’s a gateway to flow. Women are very grateful for your ability to add joy and light to day-to-day life.

For all you men out there, keep in mind that your masculinity is a gift, to your partner and to the world. It is part of what makes you uniquely you. We appreciate the ways you’re different from us.

__
This article originally appeared on MindBodyGreen.
 





Your views are most welcome...

WHY YOU THINK RELATIONSHIP SUCKS!

Here are some myths being perpetuated in our society that stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of what a relationship really is. Unfortunately, people may have had these experiences more than once, and begin to generalize as well as begin to express their opinions as overall fact.

You think everybody cheats.

This one is pretty basic. Kind of like “Why relationships suck 101.” Men cheat, women cheat, or maybe you cheat, and you can only assume that everyone else acts the way that you do. Maybe this has even happened to you more than once.

The truth is…hear me out here…not everybody cheats. There are people out there who possess the self control to understand that a loving, healthy relationship will bring more satisfaction than a temporary physical act. Typically, we call these people “mature, respectable adults” and if you only commit yourself to one of them, you may have a more positive experience.

You see your friends unhappy.

Maybe you’re single but your friends are in relationships. Maybe they don’t make the best choices when it comes to partners, and they are, overall, unsatisfied. It’s only natural that this will affect your perception of what is normal for our generation, but you are not them, and their circumstances aren’t your circumstances.

If we just take the time to listen, observe, and learn from other peoples’ experiences, we can make better decisions when it comes to our own. You do not have to be a victim of circumstance; you can create your own.

You think you’ll be held back in life.

You do not have to choose success or a relationship, all you need is to find someone who will support and encourage you along your journey. People, in general, can be lazy and unmotivated. They fall into routines and their happiness or self-motivation dwindles and this negativity can be contagious, especially in a relationship.

It’s difficult to plan a future with someone who doesn’t have any plans for their own future. This is what makes it so important to really get to know someone as well as their hopes, dreams, and ambitions, before you commit to them.

The right person will be your support system, and never discourage you.

You think you’ll have to give up your friends.

Why is it that so many people feel as though if you’ve got a girlfriend or a boyfriend, you can no longer communicate with members of the opposite sex? This, to me, is a serious trust issue and is a red flag right off the bat. When it is understood that you are two individual people with two individual lives that existed before you knew each other, it makes life much easier.

When you’re happy with someone, wouldn’t you rather introduce them to everyone and become part of each others’ lives, rather than cutting everyone else out?

You’ve had multiple relationships with the same person.

Have you ever seen a fly that keeps flying into a glass door when there is an open window on another wall, but they never seem to notice it? They just continue to fly into that closed window and when you’re watching, it’s obvious they’ll never get through. You just want to redirect them over to the open window – this is how some people treat relationships.

If you continue to go back to the same person over and over and over again, you are the fly trying to get out of the door. It’s only natural that you’ll think that every other door or window will be closed too, but sometimes, you’ve got to stop and look around the room.

You’ve been fishing in the same pond.

Perhaps worse than catching the same fish only to throw them back and catch them again, is to continue catching multiple different fish of the same kind.

Many of us tend to stay in the same circles. We often go to the same places on the weekends or fall into a routine that limits how many new people we meet. Similar to the fly in the previous example, this is a situation of how we represent the world to ourselves. We find only what we choose to focus on, and much will be illuminated if we step outside of our comfort zone and surround ourselves with different types of people.

You think all relationships end anyway, so why bother?

There are two sides to this coin. First, yes – most relationships do end, but, not all of them. Am I saying that you’ll be one of the lucky ones who end up in a Notebook-esque marriage with a white picket fence, a dog, and 2.5 kids? Of course not! But, to prevent yourself from having a positive experience before it even begins will do more harm than good.

Secondly, why bother? Sure, relationships end, but so do movies. So do books. So do nice dinners. But we still give our time, effort, and money to experience these things, because it’s the experiences along the way that make life beautiful.

Why bother? Because each person who enters our lives helps us grow into the person we will become.

What do all of these points have in common? The inherent negativity does not come from the fact that you were in a relationship, but from the person who you were with.

We have all had bad (learning) experiences along the way, but it’s important that we don’t let them contaminate our future.

The next person you bump into when walking around the corner has a completely different genetic makeup, experiential background, family upbringing, and outlook on life than the last person you broke up with.

The question we each have to ask ourselves when meeting someone new is: Am I going to let this person take the blame for the actions of someone they’ve never met, or am I going to explore the entire new world of experiences that they can show me?

The answer is up to you.

 
Written by James Michael Sama



Your views are most welcome...

After Ten Years of Marriage, I Still Know Nothing About Romance but I Know Love

After Ten Years of Marriage, I Still Know Nothing About Romance but I Know Love

 

My dad is not the most romantic person in the world. In fact, I do not think he has ever done anything romantic for my mom. I have never seen him buy my mom flowers or take her on an extravagant getaway. I have, however, seen him argue about politics and take the family to the flea market.

When I was around 11 years old, my mom got food poisoning. She did not feel well so she took off work and so did my dad. I remember coming home from school that day and heard these crazy noises from the bathroom.

I ran to the bathroom and I saw my mom hunched over the toilet vomiting. I also saw my dad over her holding her hair back. I said the only thing an 11-year-old kid could say…“That is gross!”

My dad replied…“This is love.”

My dad will do anything for my mom. If she truly wanted flowers, he would get them for her. If she wanted to take a getaway, he would have tried his best to come up with a few ideas. Whenever she needed or wanted something, he would always be there for her. Is he romantic? Well, not at all. Does he love my mom? Absolutely.

I met my wife in 2000. I will tell you that within five minutes of talking to her, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her. You hear that a lot but I had a feeling.

On our first date I tried to impress her. It was her birthday so I bought her some flowers and a couple candles. I knew that women liked candles so I really wanted to impress her. We went to a nice Italian restaurant and then to a movie.

On our second date I bought her a stuffed bear and some candy. I wanted to impress her. Was it romantic? Well, as romantic as I could be. We went to downtown Charlotte, NC and then walked around. We held hands and kissed for the first time.

On our third date we were going to a real nice restaurant. While driving, my wife did not feel well. She was trying to hold it in but could not. She screamed for me to pull the car over and she ran out and started to throw up.

I ran after her and held her hair back. She was pushing me away and was telling me to get back into the car. Well, she was kind of telling me because she was throwing up. And each time I held her hair back.

“Get back in the car!”

“No. You do not need throw up in your hair. We need to get you to the hospital.”

We went to the hospital that night. I stayed with her the whole time. I took off work the next day and made sure she was okay.

None of that was romantic. All of it was love.

Marriage is not easy. No one ever said it was. There are issues to deal with that are not just solved with hanging up the phone. There are fights over important and non-important things. There are days you are so happy and others you question everything.

This year we had our ten year anniversary. We got married in January of 2004.

We have been through a lot. We have lived in different cities and have had different jobs. We have had our financial issues and tragedies. I have been there at my wife’s worst times and she has been there for mine.

We have had the joy of two beautiful children and also getting to know each other more. Marriage is hard until you actually sit back and really think about the main reason why you got married in the first place…

Love.

We went out for dinner on our anniversary. Nothing romantic. I bought my wife flowers. She told me that she did not need flowers. I knew she didn’t need them. I knew she wanted them.

She is going to eventually get a piece of jewelry that she picked out. I do not pick out jewelry. I laugh whenever I see those Jared commercials…

“I bought you this open heart necklace because of my love for you.”

“Awwww. Do you still have the receipt?”

I am not a romantic. I did not shock her with jewels or extravagant gifts.

I just told her that I loved her. That’s why I am sure our marriage will last for years to come.

Written by Tony Posnanski

 



Your views are most welcome...