1. SERVE. I think honor begins when we choose to serve. In one of my former posts, I talked about the power of servanthood in a marriage. I believe in this big time. If you want success in your marriage, choose to put your wife’s needs above your own, always! (As she should also do with yours.) Choose to serve her. Nothing spells “honour” greater than servanthood.
2. LISTEN.
Guys, lets be honest—we have a listening problem … most of the time. Factor in a game on TV, or our ultra-distracting iPhones, and we go completely dark. Our wives want to be heard. They want to know we are listening.
Most of us have spent all day working amongst other adults, and many of our wives have, too. But if your bride stays at home with your children, she has not had the same interaction with adults as you have. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, and listen.
3. ENGAGE.
You and I can listen, and still not be engaged. Did you know this? There’s a difference. I can hear my wife’s words and still remain uninvolved or disconnected. It’s an ongoing struggle for me.
Engagement is participation in the conversation. Nodding and saying “uh-huh,” doesn’t cut it. This is not true interaction fellas! I can call you out on this one because I’ve been guilty far too often of doing the same thing. Try this: along with your “uh-huhs” and nods, repeat what
she’s saying to you so she knows she is being understood. This will force you to understand it and engage with her.
4. STAND.
Chances are, one of the reasons she married you was
that she knew you would fight for her, and stand with her, through life’s biggest battles. Somewhere in your vows, that was present. That whole “knight in shining armor” thing? It’s real!
She needs a version of that, just as you need her to be strong for you and supportive in other ways. She needs a soldier who will fight for her, honour her, and stand next to her when she’s down for the count. Whether in the home or the workplace outside of the home, society pulls no punches in degrading and lowering the value of women. Be her buffer, her source of strength, her champion. And she’ll be yours.
It’s not that she can’t defend herself.
She can.
But it’s harder—and lonelier—to do it alone.
So be ready to take her side, to stand by her side and defend her.
5. LOVE.
I’m not talking about excessive public displays of
affection, like you see between love-struck couples
in a mall or a park. None of us really wants to see that. What I’m talking about is actions that demonstrate the love you have for her.
*Hold her hand when you walk together.
*Make sure your children
see you hug and kiss her all the time.
*Make sure they know that she is forever your bride and forever your love.
True love is built on investment, not affection. Affection is a dividend.
How you treat your partner will affect how your children love their future spouses. Your kids will seek out partners based on what they
see in you (Yikes, pressure’s on!) and follow the dynamics and patterns that you model and exemplify in your own relationship. If honour forms the core of your marriage, it will form the core of theirs, too.
So, it is a big question: “Will you honour her?”
Sometimes, life gets in the way and we lose sight. Don’t
beat yourself up if that’s you. Pick yourself up, fail forward, and start over. That’s what life is all about—do overs!
If you need a road map, I’ve
personally found the 5 ways I just shared to be a great starting point. They’ve helped me tremendously. And they can help you, too.
Your views and thoughts are most welcome...
