Signs That You’re Thinking About Cheating!

Signs That You’re Thinking About Cheating

You need two things in place in order to cheat: you need some kind of emotional distance from your intimate partner, and you need an action plan of how you would potentially carry out the infidelity.

Emotional Distancing

In order to get more emotional distance, your thoughts will likely transition from gratitude and appreciation of your partner to round the clock internal criticism and external bickering (“Is that the best they can do?”). You will see them as less valuable and less attractive as your mental frequency tunes into a new, poisonous radio station… one that finds fault in everything that they do.

Sure they washed the dishes, but they loaded the dishwasher in the way that you hate.

Sure they made a dinner reservation for your date night, but they booked the same place that you’ve gone to for your last three date nights. Could they be any more predictable?

Sure they still find you sexually desirable and try to initiate sex with you regularly… but do they have to do it in the same old routine? How boring!

Can they do anything right? Yes, they can. And they have been doing things right. They’ve been doing things right for a long time. But currently, you are unwilling to see it. You don’t need to make yourself wrong for having these thoughts… but it is good to recognize that you are having these thoughts so you can drive a wedge into them to stop yourself from carrying out something that will hurt your partner and yourself more than you can imagine.

 

Action Plan 
Cheating is almost never an “it just sort of happened” type of situation. It’s largely premeditated and has usually been on the mind of the cheater for a while before it actually happens. Here are a few signs that you might be laying down bricks on your path to cheating.

     a.)  Fantasizing

Do you find yourself fantasizing about the rush of acting out your desires? Have you thought about how exciting it would be to reach out to someone you find attractive, or to book a hotel room for a night and rendezvous with someone new?

While it’s totally healthy and normal to casually glance at people that you find attractive on the street but if you find yourself escalating potential scenarios in your mind on repeat then you might want to pay close attention to your thoughts.

Just like Gustav Eiffel created the blueprints for the Eiffel tower before it was built in the real world, everything that comes to fruition in your life happens first in your mind.

      b.) Contacting Former Lovers

Flirtatious friendships can take a questionable turn if your defences are already feeling low and you’re seeking stimulation outside of your relationship.

If you find yourself adding your former flings on Facebook, or heavily stalking the ones that you’re already digital connected to (“Are they married yet? Are they dating anyone right now? Do they look happy? Should I message them just to catch up?”), then this could be a red flag.

Emotional cheating is just as damaging as getting physically involved with someone – even more so in the minds of a lot of people.

So if you find yourself moving from thoughts to actions by reaching out to former lovers, then you should stop yourself dead in your tracks as soon as possible.

      c.)   You’re Looking For Crutch Hookups

A lot of the time people cheat on their significant others because they feel like their relationship is doomed and they’re looking for a way out. I call these crutch hookups. It’s looking for or starting a new relationship with someone else while you are still in a relationship because you perceive the relationship won’t work, so you jump ship before the relationship ends. It’s that extra leverage point that tells you “Now that I made out with this other person, I HAVE to end the relationship.”

And while there’s nothing wrong with a relationship needing to end because you feel like you’ve grown apart, cheating your way out does a lot more damage than earning your way out.

Instead of using a crutch hookup, deploy some courage and have a real conversation with your partner. Your partner deserves to know if you’ve emotionally checked out of the relationship.

Relationships end. People grow apart. That doesn’t need to be avoided. But end the relationship like a grown up by talking it out and leaving on relatively good terms.

Your views are most welcome...