Kiss her like you miss her: Chances are you won’t be having sex every day. Well, maybe you will, but probably
not. Anyway, if she likes it, you should definitely kiss her every day. A lot. When saying hello and saying goodbye, even if you’re going to be gone only a couple of hours. It keeps you connected. It lets her know you care about her. Hold her close and give her a passionate kiss. Frequently.
Cuddle morning and night: It’s good bonding to cuddle right before sleep, and right upon waking. Setting the alarm five minutes early to cuddle each other starts the day off right.
Note: Cuddling doesn’t necessarily have to involve sex. Sometimes, it leads to it though. Feel free to enjoy those times.
Sleep naked: This obviously isn’t a requirement,'but I do think it’s good advice if you’re both naked in bed all night. It makes those aforementioned cuddles way more enjoyable, and gives the two of you better access to the fun stuff. It makes you think more about each other in sexual terms. You don’t want to ever stop thinking about each other sexually,
and spending more time touching each other while naked – even when no sex is involved – helps keep you sexually connected.
Shower together: More naked time together = good. Again, it doesn’t necessarily mean
sex. It’s just being naked together. Saves water too!
Get better at sex: We’re talking about keeping a
marriage strong when others are getting divorce here, and if you keep getting better in the sack, she’s more likely willing to stick with you and settle issues.
I’m not going to write a how-to-be-a-sexual-tyrannosaurus advice book.
I know only a few things about getting better in bed, and I’ll share
them:
Have conversations about sex
outside of having sex. Keep it light.
Talk about things each of you like.
Don’t take her comments as
criticism, but as valuable feedback.
Consider it a skill that takes time to develop and be determined to get better at it.
Take pleasure in her pleasure. Think about you, sure, but think about her too.
Listen to her voice. Pay attention to her moans and do more of stuff that has her making pleasurable sounds,
and less of stuff that doesn’t.
React to her body. Just like listening to her voice, you need to do the same with her body. Is she pulling away or tensing up with discomfort?
Then you need to change your technique. Is she reacting like she wants to pull you through the mattress? That’s good. Do more of that.
That’s what I got.
(Hey, I hate to post things like this on my blog but Tim & Beverly Lahaye makes me change my mind when I read their book, Act of Marriage. In fact, why aren't are Pastors talk about sex in marriage, even during marriage counseling sessions?)
Okay, back to the less naked stuff for a bit.
Be hygienic: Early on in your relationship you probably don’t need to be reminded
of this, but just because you’ve become comfortable in your marriage doesn’t mean you should get too comfortable.
Don’t gross her out: I think it’s probably good advice that
you should never marry a woman you can’t fart in front of. However, just because you can fart in front of her, doesn’t mean you always should. I’m not saying hold them all in so you explode, but don’t relish in constantly blasting away like you have a leaf blower strapped to your
ass. Show some class. Say,
“Excuse me.”
Don’t let yourself go: Not sure what to do to stay in shape? But yeah, try to stay healthy for her. Physically fit men have higher sex drives and much lower risk of developing erectile dysfunction.
Hold her hand:Duh.
Make plans for the future that
involve her: It could be next week, next month or next year, but talking about what
you plan for the future together is a sure way to get her thinking about your long-term prospects.
On that note, you may need to …
Sacrifice for her: Long ago I wanted to be a history
professor. I went so far as finishing a master’s degree in military history. Then I thought about how nomadic
the lifestyle is, bouncing around from university to university in a quest for a tenured position, and I thought about the havoc that would create for my wife, who wanted to start a family medicine practice. I couldn’t ask her to do that, so I changed my plans for the sake of our marriage. You may need to do something like that. Decide what’s more important to you: her, or this other thing.
Self-improvement: Work on it
If you meet her when you’re 20, she doesn’t want you to be the same guy when you’re 40. You’ll need to grow, and probably grow up a little.
Do things that are important to
her, even if you don’t want to.
Remember that a relationship is give
and take. Go to those family events.
Watch that sappy movie. Look at
those curtain swatches. Take notice
of the things she does for you that
she probably doesn’t want to, and be
appreciative.
Appreciate her values and point
of view
Pay attention to what she has to say
and digest it rather than dismiss it.
You may learn something.
Give her the remote
Every once in a while. It won’t kill
you.
Focus on her good qualities and
not her bad ones
Chances are, you are light years from
perfect. Accept that she isn’t either.
Here’s my advice: Think of her often,
in a positive light. Daydream about
her, and idolize her just a little.
Imagine her as her best self, and
you’ll want to be the type of man
who is worthy of her.
Don’t dwell on minor things that bug
you, but instead focus on
appreciating the awesomeness that
is your girlfriend.
Clean up
I’m pretty sure a man doing
housework is an aphrodisiac for
women.
Be a good dad
Saving this one for second last, in
case your relationship ever gets to
that point.
A guy who looks after the kids, plays
with them, changes diapers, is a
good role model, is kind to them etc.
is a turn on for most wives.
And finally …
Ditch jealousy
You know that expression, “If you
love something, set it free”? Well,
when it comes to a woman, that’s
bullshit, because you never owned
her in the first place to be able to set
her free. She honors you with her
presence based on your behavior,
and she can choose to withhold that
presence permanently whenever
she decides.
The way to be able to trust her is to
just trust her. Jealousy has the
opposite of the intended effect.
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