The
odd thing about falling for someone is that for the duration of the infatuation
period, he seems perfect. But, it is worth noting that “loving another person”
and “infatuation” are two entirely different things. When we are infatuated, we
remain in a bubble. At the commencement of a relationship, nonetheless, it is difficult to
really see past the bubble.
So,
how do you know that you have found your Prince Charming at the beginning of a
relationship, when you are still blinded by bliss and excitement and cannot
tell the difference between romance that is true and that which is superficial?
Look for these four signs:
1. He Respects You
Respect,
especially at the beginning of a relationship, is paramount. How can you
possibly be with someone you don’t regard with admiration? Without respect, a
relationship is doomed.
It
is a prerequisite for love. That being said, it is not a necessary perquisite
for infatuation. Therefore, it is entirely possible for new couples to lack
respect for one another without even realizing it.
Adoring
a person does not imply you respect him or her. Respect, in many cases, takes
time. This, of course, raises the cliché that respect is earned and not simply
granted.
Nonetheless,
even at the start, there is a certain level of respect that is demonstrated on
each individual’s part. Look for subtle actions: He asks your advice on
work-related matters, consults you about decisions that impact his life, speaks
highly of you to his friends beyond simply your physical appearance, etc.
2. He Is Constant
When
a relationship commences, we are on our best behavior; we are kind,
considerate, caring and sweet as can be. It is as if we all become poets and
profound romantics, regardless of how nonchalant our characters were prior to
meeting this superior being for whom we have fallen.
A
person’s true colors only show as time passes. A man may act like the sweetest
guy on earth at the beginning, but after a few months, he may turn out to be
rather barbaric. So, how do you know whether or not your man is the sweet,
good-natured individual he is presenting himself to be?
Keep
your eye out for Jekyll and Hyde moments. Try to spend time with him in various
contexts rather than just alone with him. Does he treat you the same way in
front of his friends, family and colleagues?
In a past relationship of mine, the guy was
extremely sweet for the first six months or so. However,
whenever a dilemma at work arose, his kindness wore off and he took his
work-related stress out on me. I, naturally, excused him of this demeanor
because as humans, we sometimes take out our frustrations on the ones we love. Looking
back, this was an obvious red flag and I should have been wiser from the start
to detect his true colors. I spend a lot of time with my current boyfriend —
perhaps more than I have ever spent with any other man from my past — and his
behavior toward me is constant. It
is unwavering, despite stress related to work, anxiety or any external
pressures. This is the sign of a real man — a man who can handle his issues
maturely and who does not take advantage of what he has.
3. He Supports Your Ambitions
Different
things make different people happy. For one person, working in the corporate
world and making a decent salary may be fulfilling; whereas for another, money
alone may not cut it. A more emotionally satisfying career may be someone’s
priority.
Ultimately,
whatever you truly want to do with your life, your partner must support it. I
have learned the hard way that relationships — no matter how perfect they may
be in some ways — are destined to fail if this aspect is not in place.
Moreover,
it works both ways. A woman must endorse her partner’s life goals, as well. Too
often, we overlook this feature of a relationship in the beginning.
We
think, “This person is so wonderful that I don’t care if he is a millionaire or
if he has a dollar to his name.” But take one step back. Is that really how you
feel?
What’s
more is that even if that is how you feel, what about him? Does he have certain
expectations in regards to your ambitions? Couples don’t really bring up these
issues at the commencement of a partnership because they extract us from the
psychological wonderland of romance in which we have immersed ourselves.
4. He Listens And Actually Cares
There
is a massive difference between passive and active listening. When we are
drowning in obsession, so to speak, we tend to act like we are concerned with
our significant others’ problems.
In
reality, we simply enjoy consoling them, but this does actually require us to
sincerely care. I have dated men who appear to be deeply engaged in what I am
saying, as if I am telling them the secret to life itself.
But
upon finishing my thoughts, I have asked their opinions and feedback, only to
have them respond with compliments regarding my physical appearance and nothing
even remotely related to what I said. Your man should take you seriously.
He
should respond with inquiries to better comprehend a matter if it is unclear.
There are plenty of obvious ways to discern whether he is actively listening.
Do not get swayed by his flattery and completely dismiss this critical aspect.
I
have been through my fair share of letdowns with men. I was so close to giving
up on believing that my Prince Charming was somewhere out there for me.
Luckily, right at this moment, the man of my dreams showed up.
It
took no time at all for me to realize what an amazing human being he is. I now
find myself happier than ever in a genuine, affectionate relationship. There
may be such a thing as fairytale happy endings, after all.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
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