People are always saying you shouldn’t settle for less than you deserve. I’ve heard it since I was a little girl; it’s the line we tell every woman when she is treated badly, and it’s also what we recite when looking to give advice. But what about men? Why don’t we tell them not to settle? We claim women are the only ones settling, but I disagree. Men need to stop settling, too.
Think about it: What type of girl do you really want? Is that really the girl you are dating now? Sometimes the answer is no. The girl you are dating may not have the same values or morals as you, but you’ve pushed aside what you’re really looking for. Honestly, most of you are dating the girls who are easy to date because they don’t challenge you. What I mean by that is, they don’t challenge you to be the person you want to be, to be a better person and to bring out different qualities that make you shine as a person. I will let you in on a little secret: Your family and friends are sick of meeting these girls that are downright rude, have no goals and are just absolutely not good for you.
So in retrospect, they don’t want to watch you settle for less than you deserve. Do you not see your own value? The “project” you are dating is not real love, and if anyone has dated someone he or she thought could be changed, it usually is very unlikely that it happens. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t challenge you to be a better person, then you are settling for a smaller life than you deserve. Whether you want to admit it or not, the people close to you in your life usually have a good notion of the people you should be with.
I have many male friends in my life who I truly care about, and I’m constantly seeing them settle for less than they deserve. I believe men settle not because they don’t know what a real relationship is or even what real love is. It’s because they don’t think they can do any better and aren’t willing to put in the work to have something real. There is someone out there with the same values and goals as you, and also someone who will challenge you to become a better man. All relationships don’t include fighting all the time, breaking up all the time and being overall miserable with just a few good times in between.
There is more to love, and I promise you the wait is worth it to have a great one. Settling for less because you think that’s all you deserve is just crazy to me. Would you do that for your dream job, your house or car? Would you do that with friends? No, you would not settle for those things, so a relationship should not be any different.
Men, take a step back and reevaluate yourself and what you want in someone. Write it down; make a mental note and do what you need to do to not settle. Look at how unhappy you have become because you have settled and know you can find a girl who is going to make you crazy in a good way. She maybe be right in front of you, and you could always wonder what it would be like to have a girl like her. Or maybe she is the girl you run into at the coffee shop but are too scared to approach because she may not be interested. Instead, you settle for the “whatever” in life. Well, stop wondering, stop being scared of something you want and fight like hell for it.
Settling for the girl who showed interest in you or was easy to get will never be worth it.
To all the men out there reading, stop settling and go get the woman of your dreams.
By Lisa Thompson
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