I talk to people about relationships
and love every single day.
Recently, I
noticed a theme emerging from
these conversations over and over
again. This theme is at the very heart
of what prevents most people
(including myself) from allowing
ourselves to truly, deeply love and
be loved.
The issue is faith… or rather the
absence of faith.
The faith I’m referring to doesn’t
necessarily need to be rooted in
religion. Rather, I’m referring to a
more broad, yet deeply profound
confidence, belief, and trust in
someone or something that is
completely uncertain.
Our fear-mongering
society has beaten faith
out of us.
The hope in humanity that this
nation was build on has been chased
out of us. We’re scared of terrorists,
tyrannical government, and trans-
fats. We’re scared of the hyper-
religious, and atheists. We’re scared
of kidnappers, cancer, and pit bulls.
We’re scared of global warming,
Hollywood, rapists, child molesters,
and we’re scared of love.
We’re terrified that love won’t last.
We doubt whether we can remain
faithful for a lifetime. We fear that
our loving relationships will slowly
turn into a passive aggressive
grudge match, and arguments over
taking out the trash, leaving dishes
in the sink, and toenail clippings. We
fear that things will change… and not
for the best.
Every day someone asks me the
question,
“Is it worth the risk to give
someone your whole heart? What if
they leave/change/become abusive/
take advantage of me/hurt me/cheat
on me?
“Isn’t it easier to play it safe? I mean,
you don’t have risk getting burned if
you stay single. You can’t be
emotionally destroyed if you hold
back just a enough, and don’t fully
open your heart.
“The person with the most power in
a relationship is always the person
who cares the least, right? I’d rather
have control, safety, and certainty
than be the one who gets burned.”
It’s conversations like this that make
me realize how faithless our society
has become. We have been trained
not to have faith in each other. We
know how easy it is for us to change
our mind, and knowing that the love
of your life can change their mind
makes it easy to doubt love.
The interesting thing about faith is
that it cannot exist without doubt
(faith without doubt is certainty), but
if we allow that doubt to get a hold
of our hearts, it can twist our
uncertain reality into something it’s
not. It will mutate into fear. Then we
are faced with a choice, do we allow
fear to take over and our faith to go
right out the window? Or do we
dispel the fear with a heavy dose of
love and faith in others and in the
world?
Fear and faith cannot coexist. One
will always dispel the other.
You must choose
between certainty and
love, emotional safety
and deep connection,
complete control and
vulnerability.
You must have the courage to make
the more difficult choice to
experience the greater reward.
Faith
in the face of uncertainty is at the very core of love.
Your views are most welcome...
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