10 Promises You Need to Make To Your Future Spouse... (2)

10 Promises You Need to Make To Your Future Spouse

Continued from part 1…

“I promise I will do my best for our children.”

I don’t have kids for now, so I can’t speak to the obviously large challenges that come along with it. But what I can do is appreciate the importance of making them a priority in your life and doing everything you can to love, teach, and raise them into adults you can be proud of.

You can read all of the books you want, talk to all of the parents you want, and be as prepared as anyone could be – but one can imagine that there are endless unique challenges that every set of parents face. When you make the promise to your husband or wife that you will do the best you can and figure it out together along the way – that’s exactly what happens.

“I promise I will accept and love you fully.”

We all have flaws.

We all have insecurities.

We all have things we want to change about ourselves.

We cannot expect to like every single little thing about our spouse, but what we need to do is promise that we will accept all of their traits, and love them to their very core, just the same.

“I promise I will not love you for your beauty alone.”

Yes, of course you should be physically attracted to the person you are with. Yes, of course you should love being with them. But all of these things are very different than loving someone for their beauty.

My mother and grandmother always said to never fall in love with someone for their hair, teeth, looks, or money – because they can lose all of it. When marriage is part of the conversation, when true love is part of the conversation, all of these things take a back seat to who this person is at their very center. In their heart. Who they would be if everything that made them beautiful got taken away! If it did, would you still love the person underneath it all?

“I promise I will not let myself go.”

Is this a contradiction to the previous point? I think not. There is an important distinction to be made between someone who reaches old age and someone who figures “hey, I’m married now, I can stop trying.” Of course bodies and appearance change as we age, but the point here is to not become a giant lump on the couch just because you’ve gotten yourself a husband or wife.

It is important we continue to live a healthy lifestyle. To eat right. To take care of the only body we have in this life. To show the man or woman you love that you will still put in effort for them and not become too comfortable. Just because you are now married and that’s till death do you part, does not mean that your partner deserves a lesser version of you. Maintain your attractiveness! Stop that Pot-Belly, halt that flabby tummy… eat right and exercise your body. Be in good Shape. It doesn’t cost much to maintain good shape!

“I promise I am in this until the end.”

Scary, isn’t it? Till the rest of your life. Till Death. Possible in illness. Forever. Hell yes, it’s scary. It scares the living daylights out of me, to be honest. I don’t want to get old, ever. I am watching my grandparents age and it kills me to think that we are all looking out into the same future. It is not romantic or glamorous or beautiful. And for them, they still have each other.

But, it is reality. It is love. It is commitment. And, it is marriage.

When you pledge the rest of your life to someone that is exactly what you’re doing. I think this is so far outside of our realities that it’s almost not an ‘actual’ promise we feel like we are making. 50, 60, 70 years down the road? Who knows what the future will bring, anyway? We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it…

When you marry someone, though, you are making the promise that you will be crossing any bridges you reach together. You will do it whether you are walking side by side holding hands, or whether one of you is pushing the other in a wheelchair. You will cross each bridge you find along your journey with the quiet confidence that your partner is going to be stepping onto the other side with you.

How can you be sure they will be there?

Because they promised you.

Don’t rush into marriage, instead wait for the one who will keep every promise they make.

Originally appeared at JamesMSama.com

 




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