DOES
ADULT STILL CRUSH THEMSELVES?
The purpose
of this post is to help in the proper understanding of what Crush is and
therefore put its usage in proper perspective. It is common now to misuse the
word especially by adults.
A crush is a
word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a
classmate, or a friend that you really like. Crushes are a little bit like
romantic love Adults feel toward one
another. And in a way, a crush can help us think about the kind of person that
we want to love when we grow up. They help us understand which qualities we
notice and like in another person, and maybe a few that we don’t like. The strength
of this definition is that crush only
occurs during childhood and adolescent, therefore, crush is not for adults!
Crush is a
strong feeling of romantic love for someone that is usually not expressed and
does not last a long time... an intense and usually passing infatuation.[i]
According to this description, crush
is an unexpressed infatuation. Why? Because it happen to an older child or an
adolescent, the will and courage to back it up with action is not readily
there!
Infatuation is
the state of being carried away by an unreasoned passion. Hillman and Phillips describe it as a
desire to express the libidinal
attraction of addictive love.[ii]
Emphasis on the Addictive and not the love!
According Merriam-Webster dictionary, crush is very
common among teenagers and even adults to a lesser degree,[iii]
but I want to conclude that, following the above description that crush only
occur during childhood and adolescent[iv]
(teenage years), and when such passion occurs among the adult it can only be
identify only as infatuation, because crush is a developmental issue except the
adult has a faulty emotional and psychological development. According to Ray E.
Short (2004) as quoted by Wikipedia, “Puppy love, another word for Crush, is a very widespread experience
in the process of maturing.”
However,
puppy love gives young people a new sense of individualism. For the first time
they love someone outside their family.
You don’t chose
your crushes: older kid, a friend of your brother/sister, a sister or brother
of a friend, a teacher etc. Even someone you don’t know like a professional athlete
or a celebrity.
Crushes can
only last a few days, weeks, month or few months longer.
“If
you marry on the strength of Puppy
love, you’ll end up leading a dog’s life!”
Advice: Try to be
kind if you’re on the other end of a crush – when someone likes you. It’s a
compliment when someone thinks you’re special. If you don’t feel the same way,
try to tell him or her in a nice way.[v]
There is a reason a crush is called a Crush though, No one has married his/her
crush!
Your views and thoughts are most welcome...
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