THE "TOO" IN "I LOVE YOU TOO" IS NOT IDEAL!
I made myself a promise a long time
ago. Whenever I was in
relationships, whenever I found
someone significant enough that I
felt comfortable saying “I love you” I
would not add the word “too.” My
reasons for this are many but mostly
because I do not believe the word
“too” has any room in relationships,
especially when concerning matters
of love.
Look at the meaning of too, its root
and principles. Too means also.
Furthermore. In addition. More so.
Too is not a separate clause, it is
support for something already
existing. Too does not require one to
make their own choice or further
their life by personal actions but
instead is throwing oneself in
support of an existing thought.
There is nothing inspiring or original
about too. Too is not an action but a
reaction. It follows another’s ideas
and saps power from their concept.
Too is the equivalent of saying ditto.
Why would we ever add “too” to “I
love you” then?
I love you should be a statement of
power. It is something to say to
another because it is meant from
within the depths of our heart. When
we tell someone we love them, it
should be organic, brought about
because we experience these
emotions on a visceral level. Love is
a manifestation of feelings we speak
because we have lost all other words
to describe the intensity we feel in a
relationship. A good I love you,
spoken at the right moments,
compresses all the intimacies of
caring for another into a few words
that can be said to sum up the
deepest feelings of the heart. I love
you is often considered the end all
phrases for affection. Why cheapen
this powerful statement by making it
an also?
Saying I love you is the phrase we
are add to a relationship to escalate
it. It is a natural way of moving
things forward. It represents the
most profound feelings of affection.
We shouldn’t cheapen it. Where we
are so hesitant to tell a significant
other we love them the first them,
no one wants to rush into that, we
often seem to forget its profound
significance. By the second or third
time we say it, we are repeating it
back to another, responding to their
I love you with a “too” because we
allow it to become a routine.
If you want a jump start to your
relationship, if you want to do
something small but new, stop
saying too when saying I love you. If
your partner gifts you with those
words, respond if you feel compelled
but never because it is the expected
courtesy. (It is important that if try
this experiment, you share this with
your partners first so they are not
taken by surprise when you don’t
just openly repeat “I love you too”
every time they say I love you.) Let’s
take back the power of this phrase.
When someone you love says I love
you, react in one of two ways. Say
you love them because you do and
can feel every part of these words in
this moment, not because you are
vending machine that dispenses an
“I love you too” in exchange for an “I
love you.” Or wait. Don’t say I love
you in that moment because you do
not feel it at that time. Only say I
love you when you mean it fully with
every visceral part of your heart.
Removing the routine of repeating “I
love you too” every time our partner
tells us they love us is powerful. It
makes us speaking these words
authentic, makes love as meaningful
as the first time we were nervous
and anxious about saying it. When
we stop using “I love you” as a
response and forgo adding “too” it
means that we are saying I love you
because we are acting on our own
thoughts, not reacting to another’s.
Cut the “too” our of your “I love
you’s.” Let’s make love less a
reaction and more an action of care
and hope, inspired by beauty and
touching the ears of your partner
like a kiss.
Saying I love you has power. The
results can be wonderful once you
cut out the obligation of too and
focus on only speaking from the
heart. Let’s not rob the power of
these word by making them a
further addition but returning them
to an independent declaration.
culled.
Your views are most welcome...
No comments:
Post a Comment