AMAZING LOVE STORY!
On August 13th, 2014, a woman’s
profile popped up on my Facebook
account’s sidebar (in the ‘People You
May Know’ section) that would
change my life forever.
There is no accurate way to put this
into words… but I have never felt
more deeply compelled by someone
in my entire life.
Every cell in my body was a flashing
red arrow pointing in the direction
of that little digital icon. My gut
screamed at me, “Click it! That one!
This is non-negotiable.”
So I clicked it.
I was absolutely floored by this
woman. She was 100% my type (and
then some), she was passionate,
driven, intelligent, kind, and
everything else I could ever dream
up in an ideal partner.
After cyber-stalking every line of text
between her Facebook page, tumblr,
and twitter account, I knew three
things as absolute fact…
1. This was the most amazing woman
I had ever come across – online or
offline. She was as soulful, loving,
intentional, and independent as she
was beautiful.
2. This was a real person. Not just a
fake profile of a cute girl set up in
order to drive traffic to something
spammy.
3. I could easily fall in love with her,
given the chance.
I sent her a friend request, she
accepted, and then I sat with my
feelings for a week.
At the end of the
week, I knew that I had to let her
know how I felt in the most honest
way possible. I had no other
experience in my entire life of
feeling that compelled towards
talking to someone… it was a once in
a lifetime bundle of feelings.
So, on August 20th, 2014, a week after
I had added her, I sent her the
following message via Facebook…
"Here’s something random…
I don’t know you, nor do you know
me.
I saw you pop up in my “People you
may know” sidebar a few weeks back
and I was absolutely stunned. To be
honest, I thought yours was a fake
profile because you were so
gorgeous. I lost about ten minutes of
work time because my brain had to
reboot after seeing your profile
picture.
But that’s besides the point of this
message…
I’ve since stalked you (in a readily-
available Facebook kind of way… not
a telescope kind of way) and found
out that you’re super driven, hard
working, and passionate about many
things. Congrats on the graduation
and top honours."
"The real reason I wanted to send this
is that you, in a roundabout way,
have given me faith that there are
quality women who are beautiful,
driven, and humble… all at the same
time.
I don’t expect anything in return
from you from this message. I just
wanted you to know that I see what
you’re putting out into the world,
and I applaud it. I’m very impressed
by you.
Have a great weekend."
That was it.
I told her what was true (I added her,
looked into her, and was impressed
by her),
what I noticed (she’s driven,
humble, and beautiful),
and what I
expected to come from me
messaging her (she would know that
she affected my life in a positive
way).
In short, I gratitude-bombed her
with no expectations of a
relationship.
And this wasn’t some sneaky,
manipulative trick that would then
have her doing back-flips for my
attention in order to get more
praise. In fact, she didn’t write me
back for nearly an entire month.
Which was completely fine on my
end because I truly wasn’t expecting
any result from the message. I
simply wanted her to know that I
was deeply impressed by her and
that I was just glad that she existed
in the world.
When she wrote back three weeks
later, she thanked me for writing to
her. She then told me that my
message had left her speechless.
And she told me she thought I was
courageous for being so honest with
someone I’d never met.
At this point in time I was living
across the country from her (a five
hour flight away from each other)
and, knowing that I wouldn’t be back
in her city for another month at the
earliest, I asked her for her phone
number.
September 20th, 2014
"The next time I’m in Vancouver, I’ll
do whatever it takes to take you out
on a date. I haven’t been as
compelled towards someone as I am
to you in quite a while.
On second thought, five weeks
simply seems like too long to wait.
For how relatively little I know about
you, the thought of you lights me up
inside. I think that that is something
worth exploring sooner than later.
I’d love to call you some night soon
and have a chat. If you are up for that
send me over your number and I will
give you a shout when it works for
you."
She gave me her phone number.
I
called when I said I would.
We talked
for two hours, effortlessly. We talked
about everything. I loved her voice.
She laughed a lot. I loved that too.
Within few months, I was back in her
city and we were officially a couple.
“Will you be my wife?”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t hesitate at all!”
“You’re right. I didn’t need to.”
Ultimately, I met the woman of my
dreams using Facebook (the last
place I ever expected to find her).
So what did I learn from this
experience?
*Being direct works.
If you’re an honest, loving person
who simply wants to spread more
love into the world, your potential
significant other will pick up on that
vibe. And you don’t have to worry
about playing games or being
tastefully ambiguous. If you want to
be direct and that’s congruent with
who you are, then be direct.
You need to put in real effort.
If you’re going to message someone
in order to ask them out…
1) make
sure you actually care about who
you’re messaging, and
2) put in the
time and effort to come up with
something more personalized than
“heyyy, you’re cute. whatsup?”
Embrace the vulnerability of
showing interest.
Telling someone you care feels
vulnerable. Putting your neck on the
line and saying, in any number of
words, “Yes, I like you” is a scary
concept. But, at least in my eyes,
living a life full of “What if’s” is even
scarier.
If you want to message them, do it. If
you want their phone number, ask. If
you want them to be your significant
other, make it known.
The world belongs to the brave.
So be direct,
spread love
everywhere, and
have the courage
to ask for what you want.
Your views and thoughts are most welcome...
