Showing posts with label Courtship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Courtship. Show all posts

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line

Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line
 



I spent a good part of a week recently getting to know a new woman online, and I could sense the potential. I could admire her good looks, dark eyes, and flashing wit. And yet there was something that wasn’t coming across. I couldn’t decipher it right away. I was hopeful and encouraged by our promising start. And her persistence in getting back together again the next day. “Spontaneously.” I loved that. “Yes, yes, yes,” it said to my brain.

But …

In my joyous engagement I was missing something from her that I couldn’t identify. I thought I was listening well, responding well, and behaving well. I thought we were moving things along nicely. But I could only make those assumptions about myself and my own thinking. While she was sharing a lot about life and asking a lot of questions about me, she wasn’t really lighting up. She was … reserved. She admitted to being an introvert, and I initially thought, “Oh, that’ll be interesting, to see how I am in relationship to an introvert.”

And even in the real world, with all of our faculties between us, the miss between us was something deeper. After three meetings and the promise of an actual “date” for the weekend ahead, I was feeling good and yet still mixed. I walked away from our last meeting wondering, “Am I the one pushing this one along? Am I making this one happen? Am I trying to invent my lover?”

The next morning, she pinged me saying she’d considered our time together and felt it wasn’t going to be a match for her. She was canceling the date. And she would catch up with me spontaneously as the occasion might arise in the future.
I was disappointed, but not totally surprised.

I had been feeling the miss, but I was trying to force it to be a match. I wanted “her” to work. And that’s when I understood it was time to kill my online dating profiles. I WANT a relationship too much. My focus has gotten lost in all this browsing, assessing, and pursuit. What I really need to pursue is my dream and my creative output. I am confident that if I do that, the rest will follow.

I have time for a relationship. I have the will and the energy. And if I want to meet a match, I need to put myself and my life in the places where “she” already is. In real life, not online.

Sure, I will have another great love. But first, I must become the great lover I hope to meet, by becoming large enough to call her in, without the help of a dating site.
Always Love,


written by John McElhenney




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Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Why Sex is Overrated and Love is the New Black



Why Sex is Overrated and Love is the New Black






It starts from the moment you lay eyes on her. Apparently, you’ve all of three seconds from that point to leave your mark… smile… approach… say something! From then– their first words unfortunately birthing their last. Others, however, will successfully graduate to the next stage, strolling into the “what’s your name? Age? Job?” interrogation, but yet still fall at the final hurdle—No number… No Pin (I’m old school!) And then there are the lucky ones, call them the charmers…players…brothers with a little game…. They may move to gain her acceptance, but what next? A few raunchy messages followed by a steamy late-night conversation or two… First Date… Second… First kiss… Mind blowing sex? That’s what you see in the movies right?

As clichéd as the above scenario may be, it’s one that never ceases to make me chuckle. Unlike the constant horde of glorified images and sexual innuendos we are bombarded with every day via the media or even the embellished banter that happens to strike up at lunch with the girls in the staff canteen, sex in real life just isn’t the same–try taking it down a FEW pegs! I mean, the woman that swears she always has multiple orgasms, or the guy that boasts he’ll last till six in the morning… Really? OK, I confess, I do, but that’s a whole other convo!

I’d be lying if I told you that I loathed the act—not in the slightest. It’s a blessing to be able to cradle in the arms of the one you love and experience the heights of pleasure and intimacy that sex can bring to a relationship. But unless there is anything substantial between the pair of you, just like the high of a drug or the intoxication of alcohol, the euphoria will simply last for a while and with time eventually subside. Hence why the feelings of remorse often kick into play the moment he’s turned over and shut his eyes. For many, the most distressing fact is that premarital-sex will usually signal the beginning of the end. It’s as if all the spoken words, hours consumed, pennies spent up until those precious three minutes of elation slowly grind to a halt afterwards.

Which begs the question—if it’s only going to be a temporary bliss that will inevitably leave us feeling discontent later—why? Was it worth it? The LBD, the fresh trim, your unpaid phone bill? How about your purity? Or in some instances, your sanity? Heck, your life!

So as I was shaping up my bald patch at the barber shop a number of years back, the subject of women came up—-a novelty. In my naiveté, I regretfully interjected, suggesting that maybe sex was a little overrated, that maybe their recollections of events were somewhat distorted, a few numbers and timescales inflated, that sort of thing. “You’re clearly just not doing it right,” one joked, as the others laughed. I joined in the heckles to keep face, but within, something stirred, a rippling effect, as feelings of inadequacy and doubt began to pulsate from my core. I guess boys will always be boys, but with years gone by—a ring on the finger, a little more mileage on the clock—I’d like to think that things might just go a little deeper and better than that.

I’m no guru, but I have come to realize that when we have sex with another person we communicate with them in a number of ways–physically with our bodies, emotionally with our hearts and spiritually with our souls.

Sex is everywhere. It sells everything. Everything from the 10-packed freak on the front cover of Men’s Health claiming that he has the “5 Keys to Give Her the Big O”, to the melting yolk of my Cadbury’s crème egg. There is clearly no shortage of exposure to what sex is in its physical form. And from time to time, things do even out somewhat, as the Drakes and the (insert your favorite female R&B singer here)’s—think of this world as they let us in to some of love’s emotional side effects.

However, aside from the weekly debates at the Christian Union fellowships that I sparsely attended during my Uni days, I rarely heard much, if anything, about a spiritual connotation. Though Pastor did warn us to abstain. Simply, “God said so!” And at age 13, I cringed as mother sat me down to fill me in on the birds and the bees. The conversation was brief. “You’re a man now?” she patronized, adopting that localized Lagosian twang, before proceeding to tell me that sex before marriage was a grotesque sin, and that all sinners went to hell. “Heaven’s forbid that you get a girl pregnant!” she harped.


 So, grasping the three voices of sex—the physical, emotional and spiritual—can go a long way to achieving the ultimate climax in a relationship. The physical is definitely the dangerous ingredient in this trio, but even then:



the best sex won’t make up for a dead relationship that seriously lacks in every other department.

I know the whole settling down with kids and the detached suburban house dream doesn’t appeal to all, but how many more hearts will be broken? How many more sores need to break out? And how many more blameless fetuses will we unjustly abort, before we begin to realize that it’s all just vanity? Trust me. Minus the sores, I’ve been there.

In reality, things aren’t clear cut; it’s all a lot easier said than done. “I’m still young, let me live,” one says, whilst another interjects, “I’m just having a little fun, I ain’t hurting nobody.” And I’m sure there are plenty of guys (and girls) out there who would agree. Many of whom will continue to head to the bars and restaurants this evening, squandering their wages, all in the hope that they’ll bag a suitor for the night.

But what next? I guess we can always do the same the following weekend, right? We’ll recite the same lyrics and fritter away even more cash, repeating the cycle, only to become appalled all over again.

We only live once, right? And who am I to judge? As they say in this world, each to their own!


Originally appeared at Shy Boy Diaries written by Banji Makanjuola







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Wednesday, 28 October 2015

I Hate How Much I Love You



I Hate How Much I Love You: A Letter to the Girl I Both Love and Hate

I hate how cold you can be, but I still want you.
I hate how cold you are to me, but in those brief moments when you warm up to me and show me the real you, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Your smile makes me feel alive.

I hate when you won’t talk to me. Sure, you say words, but the conversations are shallow. It feels like I’m speaking to your shadow — not your real self. I just want to get to know you on a deeper level, and I hate that you won’t let me.

Because I know that, deep down inside, there’s love. There’s a big, caring heart and an incredibly beautiful soul.

I hate how you distance yourself, but that only makes me want to bring you in closer.
I understand your need your space. Everyone does. But the only way for us to build a lasting relationship together is for us to actually be together. And I don’t mean just in the same room. I’m talking about on the same wavelength.

I want us to become one and the same. I want a partnership, a unit, a love. I’m not sure if you’re scared or just not ready (which I understand), but I need you to know how much I want and need this.

There is no doubt in my mind that one day we will be all I know we can be. I just wish that day would come a lot sooner.

I hate that you don’t trust me, but I want you to open up to me.
I’m trustworthy, but you don’t seem to believe it.

I know you’re not to blame, though. You’ve had it rough for quite some time now. You’ve suffered from failed relationships, heartbreak and abandonment by your friends. I’m incredibly sorry for that.

I know I may have made some mistakes in the past, but I love you. I’m here for you and will always be here for you. Trust me. Or must I pay for others’ sins?

You’re someone I will never fully let go of; you are a part of me. You influenced me in a way that no one else will ever influence me again. And the path I’m on is largely due to having met and loved you. I couldn’t leave you if I wanted to.

I hate that you don’t care about me the way I wish you did, but I know one day you could.
It hurts. When I look at you or talk to you, I can tell you don’t care about me the way I care about you.

And though it hurts unlike any pain I’ve endured before, it’s okay. I understand you don’t love me.

But you could. And if there is an order to this world — one in which love wins in the end — then you will love me, eventually. It just wouldn’t make sense that someone who loves someone as deeply as I love you wouldn’t receive that love in return. It just can’t be.

I don’t love you like I’ve loved anyone else before; I love you the way someone is supposed to love someone.

I hate how much I love you.
It breaks my heart how much I love you. It hurts to love you. If I just loved you a little less — just a little — then I’d be able to move on and let go. I know that’s probably what I ought to do, but I don’t know how.

How does one let go of someone who has become a part of them? Tell me where to cut the cord, and I will.

I hate myself for loving you, because I know I deserve better than this. I know I deserve the love I’m giving you.
Why can’t you be that person to me?
Why can’t you let me love you?
If you won’t let me love you, at least let me hate you completely.

I can’t go on loving and hating you at the same time. The tension inside me is building, and I’m feeling like I’m about to implode.

But I know this will one day all work itself out. You will either love me, or I’ll find a way to survive without you. It won’t be easy. I’m not even sure it’s possible to ever completely let go of you, but I have to try.

I won’t let you be the end of me, because there’s a life out there waiting for me to live it. Just know that this could have been beautiful. We could have been beautiful together.

And it wasn’t me who ruined it. But there is hope... you could make it better ‘cos I still love you, though it’s killing me!

By Paul Hudson




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