THE SPIRITUALITY OF ROMANCE... (1)

THE SPIRITUALITY OF ROMANCE

Christian Marriage Must Involve Romantic Intimacy

 

In the whole of the Holy Book, there's a book that seems odd, and out of place which many Christians view as not spiritual enough or not on the same spiritual level with others - the book of Song of Solomon.

Why?
Because Songs of Solomon is the story of love and PURE expression of ‪#‎Romantic‬ love between a ‪#‎Couple‬. Some have tried to spiritualize it by saying its an allegory of God's love, for either Israel or the Church, but the fact still remain, the book is a romantic book.

Does that makes it less spiritual?
No!

Most people believe in love... Even atheists, and many say God is love... Which agrees with the Holy Book. The question is: if God is love, How do we know?

He EXPRESSED it. (John 3:16)
Is that spiritual? Yes!

Many also argues that we are created in God's image... As he is, so we are... So if God express, Communicate His love, and it is spiritual, what makes our communication/expression of love within the Most Holy Institution - Marriage, less spiritual?

The Church and indeed many Christians shy away from in-depth teachings and discussions on Romantic Love, especially romance and intimacy, other than an attitude of silence which left majority to decipher... We will cross the bridge when we get there!

God did not make a mistake by inspiring those who canonized the scripture to include that unique book in it, or else the Bible wouldn't have been The Total Book for a Total Man - The book that address every aspect of one's life... Including the romance... No matter how unspiritual that sounds.

The book of Songs of Solomon is a book of the Bible that is dedicated to Love and Romance and in tally with the whole concept and teaching of the Bible... Within marriage.

To be continue...

‪#‎ItsAllAboutRelationship‬
‪#‎oluthomas‬
‪#‎Oluthomas_sharing_the_love‬
‪#‎SongsofSolomon‬

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WHY ARE WE FAILING OUR ‪#‎CHILDREN‬?

WHY ARE WE  FAILING OUR ‪#‎CHILDREN‬?

There are so many reasons and divers ways we fail our children as ‪#‎parents‬, but one rampant way that I will love to discuss here today is: To try to be your child's friend rather than his parent.

This is a common mistake that parents make, particularly as their kids get older. All parents want to be liked and loved by their kids, and to be thought of as "cool" is especially desirable to some parents — so it can be easy to slip into the "friend" role, rather than the "parent" role.

Being authoritative – using your years and accumulated

knowledge to explain to your children – is different from being authoritarian, someone who says, 'My way or the highway.'

Sue Hubbard, M.D., pediatrician and host of "The Kid’s Doctor" radio show, says that it’s critical to remain a parent, especially when it comes to setting boundaries.

The rate of alcohol and drug use in teens is climbing, and Dr. Hubbard feels that "part of that may be due to the fact that parents want to be ‘their child’s friend’ rather than parent. It is often easier to say yes than no, and parents seem to turn a blind eye at times to the use of alcohol and drugs (especially weed) in their own homes. The scary part of this: alcohol is the leading cause of death among teenagers."

While some parents may feel that the safest place to experiment with substances is in the home, being too permissive about alcohol or drug use can backfire, giving kids the idea that underage drinking or drinking itself is ok as long as it’s at home. "You must set an example...," says Dr. Hubbard, "...Children watch their parents from very young ages, and they know what coming home drunk looks like."

Overly permissive parenting can be a concern in other areas, not just the drug and alcohol realm. Your attitude to dressing (fashion or fashion trends), to sex (Pre-marital sex and Post-marital sex which is fornication and adultery respectively) and Marriage will determine the stand your kids will take.

Be permissive, and you may end up having them have babies out of wedlock or become single-parent, or divorcee... Parent permissiveness increases the probability of all these in their children!

Finding your way between being an authority figure and being a confidant can be tricky, but it’s an important balance to strike. Being authoritative – using your years and accumulated knowledge to explain to your children – is different from being authoritarian, someone who says, "My way or the highway."

It's not hard to guess which has the more lasting beneficial effect on a teenager or young child.

When we fail to take a firm stand about these and many more moral issues and also let them know the reasons and or the consequences plus the rewards of better choices, we fail them. When they get to know themselves it might be too late and the friendship we try to protect will forever become hatred because we disappoint them in ways we are able to help them.

STOP FAILING YOUR KIDS!

‪#‎BeResponsible‬
‪#‎TakeCharge‬
‪#‎BeAuthoritative‬
‪#‎Its_All_About_Relationship‬
‪#‎oluthomas‬
‪#‎oluthomas_sharing_the_love‬

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Your views and thoughts are most welcome...

3 Sure-Fire Ways to Build a Successful Marriage

3 Sure-Fire Ways to Build a Successful Marriage

How did we make it? How have we survived 16 years and still going strong? It hasn’t been easy. It’s taken a lot of work over a lot of time. But it’s not rocket science. It really never is. We’ve learned that it’s as simple as making a few things top priority.

1. Serve one another. 

If I wrote a book on making marriage I would center it around serving one another. In fact, very soon we’re opening up an entire marriage course on this very subject! This is the most obvious means to keeping your marriage healthy and at the same time, the most overlooked and underused. Several years ago I had an ‘ah-ha’ moment. In the middle of a really bad stretch for us, God spoke to my heart and simply said, “Serve her just like you serve others.” For some reason, we can be so good at serving people we don’t sleep next to but terrible at serving the one we do.

Why? It’s simple—serving others is a choice. And when I chose to serve my wife and actually put her needs above my own, there is peace between us and in our home. She echoed the same back to me. Fellas—it’s easier for your wife to want to serve your needs when you’re serving hers. Trust me.

2. Let love grow. 

I’m not a believer in love at first sight. I never have been. Even when I was in high school and gushing over Richard Marx power ballads (it’s true, I admit it. Mancard will be surrendered shortly). I think infatuation at first sight is real, but love at first sight? Nope. The reason? Love is a process that grows over time. The moment you see “the one” for the first time, it’s impossible to have weathered storms like changing diapers, feeding a new born baby every hour together, holding their hair while they hug a toilet and vomit, standing at a funeral and saying goodbye to a loved one together, figuring out how the bills are going to get paid, and living with each other’s idiosyncrasies. These are all things that happen over three, five, 10, and 20 years or more. Through it all, love grows.  

Love is more than just a feeling.

 

It’s a deep-rooted commitment that holds strong through really great times and really hard times. I look at our life over the past decade, and I see how our love has grown. I love my wife more today than I did when I first married her. How we feel about each other today is far beyond how we felt about each other when we first met. It’s taken a mixture of really difficult and really celebratory times for that to happen.

3. Celebrate Success AND Failure. 

Sounds strange doesn’t it? Why would I celebrate failures? Here’s why—our failures, like successes, build character and they bind our hearts closer together. This is true for any area of your life but especially marriage. The truth is, you might have more failures than success. That’s just the way life is. In marriage, figuring out how to move on through failure is tough, but it makes you stronger together.

I could use thousands of words telling story after story of friends and colleagues who’ve walked through the most devastating failures with their spouse and lived to tell about it. Almost all of them would echo that it’s turned them into a better person and developed more character than they ever knew was possible. Learn to celebrate both success and failure.

Truth is, marriage was never created to be easy. God never said getting married would make life easy. He just said we can get married. That’s why grace exists. Grace covers a multitude of sins and it sustains marriage through the strongest hurricane.

I had to laugh a while back when a friend of mine told me that in a recent fight he was having with his wife, she blurted out, “If only our marriage was like Mike & Kristin’s. I bet they don’t fight like this!” Obviously this was an assumption based on what she did not know about our marriage, or our relationship. We can fight with the best of ’em! We are far from perfect, but we are committed to never giving up. Maybe that’s where you need to start?

written by Mike Berry

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Your views and thoughts are most welcome...

Before You Present or Sign Those Divorce Papers... Please read This!

I’m a Single Parent, and It’s Breaking My Heart

 

Divorce was never something I particularly wanted. And even now I’d be lying to your cyber face if I told you that I’m okay with it. Because I’m not. I’m not okay with it. Not with any of it really. I am a single father now, and I’m having a lot of trouble adjusting to that. I want to fall asleep to the old days.

So many nights come and go and all I want is to lay there in that bed again and laugh with the kids’ mom about how funny 4-year-old Henry was today at the park. I want us to relive how brilliant our 6-year-old Violet appears to us when she stands in the kitchen and tells us one of her beautiful stories. Together, I dream of us watching Charlie, our little man of just a year and a half, as he wanders around the early morning kitchen, pulling stuff off the shelves and wreaking sweet glorious havoc down all over our coffee time.

But those days are gone.

And so what I’m left with, what we’re all left with, man/woman/and children, is this storybook that still exists, but only in torn up pages tossed carelessly around the room.

Parts of me think that I ought to just get on with it. With all this #divorce happening these days, why would anyone ever listen to the way I feel and give a damn? They’d probably think I’m #weak or maybe too #romantic or something.

“Get on with your life now,” a lot of people would tell me. 

“What’s done is done, dude.”

It isn’t done for me though.

 I don’t care what anyone says, it simply isn’t done.

I was born once long ago when my mom brought me into this world. Then I was born three more times when I watched my kids be born themselves. So don’t tell me to just move on. Some people find it easy to forget all about something as epic as all those real and wonderful dreams that come along with the birth of your babies. Some people can move right past the idea that this was going to be a family forever.

Then other people, people like me, I guess, we can’t do that at all.

So before you present or sign those divorce papers, think on what you desire: Did you want your family to last or give up on those memories?

Originally appeared at Babble By Serge Bielanko

#its_all_about_relationship

#oluthomas 

 



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