Dear Little One,
As I write this, I’m sitting in the
makeup aisle of our local Target
store. A friend recently texted me
from a different makeup aisle and
told me it felt like one of the most
oppressive places in the world. I
wanted to find out what he meant.
And now that I’m sitting here, I’m
beginning to agree with him.
Words
have power, and the words on
display in this aisle have a deep
power. Words and phrases like:
Affordably gorgeous,
Infallible,
Flawless finish,
Brilliant strength,
Liquid power,
Go nude,
Age-defying,
Instant age rewind,
Choose your dream,
Nearly naked, and
Natural beauty.
When you have a daughter, you start
to realize she’s just as strong as
everyone else in the house — a
force to be reckoned with, a soul on
fire with the same life and gifts and
passions as any man. But sitting in
this store aisle, you also begin to
realize most people won’t see her
that way. They’ll see her as a pretty
face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll
tell her she has to look a certain way
to have any worth or influence.
But words do have power and
maybe, just maybe, the words of a
father can begin to compete with
the words of the world. Maybe a
father’s words can deliver his
daughter through this gauntlet of
institutionalized shame and into a
deep, unshakeable sense of her own
worthiness and beauty.
A father’s words aren’t different
words, but they are words with a
radically different meaning:
Brilliant strength. May your
strength be not in
your fingernails but in your heart.
May you discern in your center who
you are, and then may you fearfully
but tenaciously live it out in the
world.
Choose your dream. But not from a
department store shelf. Find the
still-quiet place within you. A real
dream has been planted there.
Discover what you want to do in the
world. And when you have chosen,
may you faithfully pursue it, with
integrity and with hope.
Naked. The world wants you to take
your clothes off. Please keep them
on. But take your gloves off. Pull no
punches. Say what is in your heart.
Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a
world that barely knows what it
means to love itself. Do so nakedly.
Openly. With abandon.
Infallible. May you be constantly,
infallibly aware that infallibility
doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created
by people interested in your wallet.
If you choose to seek perfection, may
it be in an infallible grace – for
yourself, and for everyone around
you.
Age-defying. Your skin will wrinkle
and your youth will fade, but your
soul is ageless. It will always know
how to play and how to enjoy and
how to revel in this one-chance life.
May you always defiantly resist the
aging of your spirit.
Flawless finish. Your finish has
nothing to do with how your face
looks today and everything to do
with how your life looks on your last
day. May your years be a preparation
for that day.
May you be aged by
grace, may you grow in wisdom and
may your love become big enough
to embrace all people. May your
flawless finish be a peaceful
embrace of the end and the
unknown that follows, and may it
thus be a gift to everyone who
cherishes you.
Little One, you love everything pink
and frilly and I will surely understand
if someday makeup is important to
you. But I pray three words will
remain more important to you — the
last three words you say every night,
when I ask the question: “Where are
you the most beautiful?” Three
words so bright no concealer can
cover them.
Where are you the most beautiful?
On the inside.
From my heart to yours,
Daddy
Your views are most welcome...
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