No matter how tough you may be, your heart is a delicate
thing. Here are seven plus one ways to know when you can trust someone with it.
It
really amazes me what falling in love can do. It turns closed up, self-centered,
arrogant, private individuals into people willing to open themselves up, expose
themselves and voluntarily make themselves vulnerable. Love really does seem
like a mental disorder. Love makes us want to give ourselves over to another.
We
let down our guards and allow those we love to see the real us – naked and
vulnerable. This is where the fun part comes: giving yourself up too soon will
likely ruin what you have. The very same can be said for giving into love too
late.
There’s
a narrow window of time that relies heavily on those involved. Sometimes things
align just right and they work out wonderfully. The real task is knowing that
window when you see it.
1. You’ve known this person.
You
may not be able to help falling for someone, but you can help letting him or
her know too early. Once you say those three words, your relationship goes to
the next level; it will never be able to level back down again. Once you love
someone, you’re supposed to love that person forever.
Before
giving someone your heart and taking the relationship to the next level, make
sure that you know who you’re getting into relationship with though you can’t know
them fully, but know them deeper.
2. As far as you know, this person has never lied to you.
And if he or she has, you at least never found out. I understand that most people are entirely against lying,
but the truth is that no one wants to be told the truth all the time. Reality
is harsh and having it softened by those who love us can be a wonderful thing.
Therefore, no lies should be told. If you know you’ve been lied to before and
were hurt by the knowledge itself then you may want to rethink moving forward.
It’s not the lie that hurts, but the truth that it’s covering. You don’t want
to be with someone who hurt you in the past while lying to you about it.
3. This person doesn’t need to be chased after – you simply
manage to find each other.
Before
you hand your heart over, be sure that the person you’re handing it over to
actually cares about you. It’s not difficult to tell. If he or she is there
when you need and isn’t always the one who is in need, then it’s a good bet
that this person really enjoys spending time with you. If he or she enjoys your
company that much then he or she most definitely cares about you. Beware those
who seem to be regularly unavailable.
4. This person has always treated you well and has respected
you.
If
he or she has been treating you poorly then don’t expect that to ever change.
If this person doesn’t respect you then he or she isn’t the type of person you
should be with and definitely isn’t the one you should be giving you heart to.
Your partner should be your partner, not your owner.
5. This person is always there for you when you need him or
her.
This
one is a big one. A lot of people are quick to talk big, but are nowhere to be
found when it comes time to actually follow through. The person you should love
is the person who will never abandon you, never leave you alone and stranded,
never give up on you or let you go. If he or she isn’t that person then forget
about him or her and keep searching.
6. This person is willing to inconvenience him or herself to
make you happy.
Being
inconvenienced is nothing more than being uncomfortable. If this person isn’t
willing to be uncomfortable for you then he or she won’t be willing to do a
whole lot for you throughout your relationship. People have very neat comfort
zones – leaving them is often pretty easy, but uncomfortable. This person
should be willing to sacrifice his or her comfort for yours.
7. This person is trustworthy.
If
you can’t trust him or her with your secrets then he or she isn’t a very good
partner. You need to trust the person you have feelings for before you allow
yourself to accept that you love him or her. You have to be able to trust this
person – trust him or her as a friend, lover and as a partner. If you can rely
on and count on him or her to catch you when you fall, then and only then,
should you be willing to make yourself that vulnerable.
Plus 1: You’re ready for this.
This
is one that is most often overlooked. It’s not enough that your partner is
right and ready to take the relationship to the next level. We ourselves have
to be ready for it.
We
often are too busy thinking and worrying about those we are falling for to
consider if we are prepared to play the part ourselves. Are you ready to follow
through on points one through seven? If you’re not then it doesn’t matter if
your partner is, does it?
our readiness must come from our ability to know the direction our life is going and the perceived purpose of our life. We are made to relate with the divine, are we indeed in tune? if not we will be out of tune with the rest of the world... for he direct the affairs of men!
Your views are most welcome...
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