Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Time to Start Living is NOW!


 Now Is It...


Mozart: the wonder kid
At age five, he wrote an advanced concerto for the harpsichord. Before he was ten, he had published several violin sonatas and was playing the best of Handle and Bach from memory. Soon after his twelfth birthday, he composed and conducted his first opera. He was awarded an honorary appointment as concert–master with the Salzburg Symphony Orchestra and within a few years, was hailed as the pride of Salzburg. 

W. A. Mozart
When he died at the age of thirty-five, he had written forty- eight symphonies, forty-seven arias, duets, and quartets with orchestral accompaniment, and more than a dozen operas. Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Amadeus Theophilus Mozart is credited with some 600 original compositions in all!

Fritz Kreisler: Do it!
Some of us still want to live as if we have all the time in the world. We wish to do certain things, but the problem is that it will forever remain a wish. A woman rushed up to violinist Fritz Kreisler after a concert and gushed, “Oh, I would give my life to play as you do!” He answered soberly, “That’s exactly what I did.” Fritz Kreisler could be that good because he committed everything he has to his passion. If people would spend as much time taking action as they do thinking about how they can avoid taking action, they’d be twice as productive in half the time.

Don’t let age keep you from taking action. Victor Hugo wrote his first tragedy at age 15. John de Medecci was 15 when he became a cardinal! Raphael painted his masterpieces before he died at age 37. Tennyson wrote his first volume of poetry at age 18. Pascal wrote his great works between the ages of 16 and his death at 37. Jefferson was 33 when he drafted the Declaration of Independence. Newton formulated the law of gravitation at age 24, and Westinghouse invented the air brake at age 23. Dickens was 24 when he wrote Pickwick and 25 when he wrote Oliver Twist. Joan of Arc did her work and was burned at the stake at 19. Romulus founded Rome at 20. Calvin joined the Reformation at age 21 and wrote his famous Institutes at age 27. Alexander the Great had conquered his world by the time he was 23.

Age had nothing to do with the genius of these great people. They merely took full responsibility of their God-given gifts and wasted no time as they maximized every opportunity to its fullest potential. Even at old age, men still take action. Colonel Sanders opened his fast food joint at the age of 56 and still became a multi- millionaire. The time is now.

Life is short, and the things we want to do must be done without delay. The average lifetime is approximately 3 score and 10 (70 years), so says the Holy book. That’s a little less than 25, 6oo days. It will take some time to grow up, so by the time you are 20, you will have about 18, 250 days remaining. When you are 30, there are 14,600 days left to accomplish your goals. At 40, the balance has decreased to about 11,000 days. By 50, you are down to 7,300. And at 60, only 3,650 are left. I’m not ignoring the fact that many people live well beyond 70, or that much can be accomplished after that age, but NOW is it.

Shalom!
 Written by Uju Onyechere.


Your views are most welcome...

Monday, 2 December 2013

Nagging... How Bad is it for Your Relationship?


Howard J. Markman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Denver and the Co-Director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies, spent 30 years studying conflict patterns and divorce. His team found that negative conflict patterns, consistent with nagging, attack love and jack up the risk of unhappiness and potential divorce. Markman knows something we all know: nagging is common. And therein lies its inherent danger. Your relationship is like a house in a falling rock zone: nagging frequently causes rocks to roll onto your house and chip away love, while cheating triggers an avalanche. You stay on the lookout for avalanches, but may be unaware of the long-term damage done by the frequent falling rocks.

So while nagging may actually not be worse for our marriages than cheating (falling rocks versus avalanche), maybe we need to recognize it as a genuine detriment to relationships. I can think of three important ways that persistent nagging can erode a relationship's foundation.

First up: Communication. Let's explore a scenario: the Nagger gets really nervous whenever Nagged One drives on long vacations. He's more aggressive behind the wheel and that triggers her anxiety. So she reminds him of the speed limit every five minutes, and uses hand and foot signals to encourage him to slow down. With each hour, Nagger's voice, hand, and foot signals become more emphatic, and Nagged One becomes less attentive or maybe explodes in irritation. Neither spouse feels understood, and most likely neither understands the other. Nagging hijacks empathic communication. 

Second up: Connection. When was the last time you wanted to cuddle up with your spouse after being nagged -- or after nagging? Usually the more one nags, the faster and farther the other runs... literally or figuratively. If you nag your wife about something on the way to a nice restaurant, an evening out may lose its sparkle before drinks are served. If the two of you are trapped in a nagging cycle, you may confuse your struggle (nagging) with your identities (two people who can't get along). Nagging can make you lose track of who you are: two people who love each other and struggle with an ineffective communication habit. Think about changing your habit before you dream about changing your partner. 

Third up: Trust. If you are the nagger, you may feel uncared for if your spouse repeatedly rejects your persistent pleas. If you are nagged, you may correctly think that your spouse does not trust you to be responsible in a particular area or in many areas. When nagging becomes entrenched, you each may feel like the other does not have your back. Trust erodes — not because Nagger and Nagged One are inherently flawed — but because each is persistently trapped in an ineffective communication pattern. What if Nagger clearly states what he/she wants and explains why, and Nagged One honestly states his/her intention and when he/she will comply? Each may need to compromise a little, but trust will begin grow. (And they can throw away their nagging labels).


So maybe nagging can't bring home an avalanche like cheating can. But if it persists unabated in your relationship, it can become an off-the-radar marriage killer. Perhaps it's time to take another look at this common communication pattern in our relationships.

written by Gina Binder for yourTango .com



Your views are most welcome...

Sunday, 1 December 2013

MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR YOU!

MARRIAGE ISN'T FOR YOU...
by Seth Adam Smith
culled from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html


Having been married only a year and a half, I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for 10 years until... until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, "Seth, you're being totally selfish. So I'm going to make this really simple: marriage isn't for you. You don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn't for yourself, you're marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It's not about you. Marriage is about the person you married."

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father's advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today's "Walmart philosophy", which is if it doesn't make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.

No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It's about the person you love--their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, "What's in it for me?" while Love asks, "What can I give?"

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful -- she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and anguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family.

I realized that I had forgotten my dad's advice. While Kim's side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article -- married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette -- I want you to know that marriage isn't for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn't for you. It's for others.

after reading this piece of Adams Smith, there are so many reactions some saying his view is wrong some went ahead and write a response among them are these two: A Rebuttal: Marriage isn't for you written by Maria MacDougal; Also My future Husband Had Better No take Seth Adam Smith's Advice written by Heartbeat Coaching. what I see in all the reason they give not to fully agree or to disagree with Seth is that "relationship is give and take." I agree with them partially,so my conclusion is that you don't have to demand or you expect. How? if your giving solely rest on the receiver being indebted to give you something back, you love and giving is totally wrong because that is not what love, in it real sense, means.

Love is looking for the good and happiness of the object of our love, and that is where giving comes in. If and since the love is mutual, then the other person too will be eager to make you happy. Demanding that they do it in a special way will mount unnecessary pressure and might lead to giving in order to receive, but love natural does not demand back, but attract itself naturally back to the one who originally give it.

if you give real love, love knows how to find its way back to you... for love is two sided River to actually exist except you aren't in love before!


Your views are most welcome...

UNLESS YOU STOP THESE... YOU WONT HAVE THE BEST GUY TO ASK FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE

FOR LADIES ALONE....

1. Do not shave off your eyebrows only to redraw them with a pencil… it makes no sense

2. Do not put on too much make up, you end up looking like you came out of the make-up factory.

3. Do not wear a vest or sleeveless top without shaving your armpits or without a bra underneath

4. Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off on its own, there's a reason why they sell nail polish remover.

5. If you can’t afford good quality weaves, don’t bother.

6. Do not do artificial nails that makes you look like a drag queen, simple is always sexy.

7. See-through leggings or a top used as a dress when you are out in public is a hell-to-the-no!

8. Never do things for a man with a hope of getting something in return, expectations are dangerous. Do it because you simply want to.

9. Never contradict what your man says - in public.

10. Never stalk the man that left you for the other woman

11. Do not share your best friend's personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

12. Women should never act on distress in relationships like checking your man’s phone, nagging him to death, and acting like a paranoid freak. You will simply release him to someone else by doing so.

13. Never dish out your entire family drama on a first date. The guy just wants to know about you.

14. Stop obsessing over your body. It’s good to eat healthy. and work out but let's leave it at that. 

15. Say No to wearing over accessories; stop looking like a Christmas tree.

16. Never leave home without lip gloss, your phone and most of all, your dignity.

17. Never leave your used sanitary towel in the toilet for the next person to see. Women please!

18. Never wear very high heels if you can’t do the Naomi Campbell walk. You look like a drunk grasshopper.

19. Never wear short skirts and low cut tops when off to an Interview. You will create the wrong impression.



20. And finally, 'Never wish to be like any other woman. There are others out there envying you for who you are'.


Your views are most welcome...

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

BE THE BEST WIFE OF THE YEAR

10 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND LOVE YOU BETTER
by Pastor Bisi Adewale



1. MAKE HIM YOUR PRIORITY. Create time for him, put him in your daily schedule, let him be number one on your ‘to do’ list.

2. GIVE HIM A ‘MONTH OF APPRECIATION’. At the end of the month in the presence of the children, thank him for taking good care of the family throughout the month.

3. GIVE HIM A ‘YEAR OF APPRECIATION’. At the end of the year, organize an end of the year party for the whole family and take your time to appreciate him for being loving throughout the years. Make the children do the same.

4. BE CREATIVE. Don’t be predictable. Do many creative things; be creative in the kitchen, in your dressing and in the bedroom. Do many things to surprise him.

5. NEVER SOUND LIKE HIS MOTHER. Stop correcting him authoritatively; only suggest. Don’t order him around, don’t criticize him, don’t condemn him, be full of praise and commendation.

6. NEVER BE STAGNANT. Improve, become better. Move forward be a better wife, be a better mother, a better lover, be more creative. Develop yourself. Know more than your mother, be better than who you were last year.

7. ENJOY FOREPLAY WITH HIM. Enjoy it when he fondles you, kisses you or touches you in a special way for sex. Be involved in it, be part of foreplay, if he touches you, touch him. If he kisses you, kiss him; pay him back in his own coin.

8. GIVE HIM LOVE MAKING NOT MATING. Don’t mate like animals, make love. Don’t just have sexual intercourse, have a sexual relationship. Be excited about sex with him, put on a smiling face, and be totally involved in bed. Never lie down like a log that has no feeling.

9. NEVER COMMIT ADULTERY, BUT COMMIT LOVE. Never allow any other man to sleep with you; you are too big for that, sleep with only your husband.

10. NEVER BE A BEDROOM FAILURE. Men can tolerate almost everything from their wives except bedroom failure. So improve, learn and become a terrific wife.





Your views are most welcome...