Tuesday, 8 October 2013

What We Wish We Knew Before We Began Our Military Marriage By Jocelyn Green

Our love story really isn’t very different from yours. We met. We hit it off. In a very short time, we knew we would end up marrying each other. We had a very intentional courtship, because when one of you is in the military, you seriously don’t have time to waste. Ten months later, we were married and—two days later—driving to Rob’s next Coast Guard duty station in Homer, Alaska.
We had read a lot of books and done the premarital counseling thing, but somehow, The 5 Love Languages was not on the list. (Don’t ask me how this major oversight occurred. And don’t tell Dr. Chapman.)
We wish it had been. The premise of The 5 Love Languages is this:
  1. The things that make you feel loved may not also help your spouse feel loved.
  2. You can learn to love your spouse the way he or she can receive it.
 
But like I said, we didn’t really think about this. Here’s what happened.
Jocelyn: My primary love language is Quality Time. If you haven’t read the book yet, this means that I feel most loved when Rob and I spend time together, either doing things we enjoy or having quality conversations. So what do you do when your military spouse leaves on a ship for weeks or months at a time?
I thought I had a great idea. I bought a really nice leather-bound blank journal with the intention of trading it back and forth between us. I would write in the journal letters to Rob when I was home alone, which felt like spending quality time with him. When he returned, he could read it and know that I was thinking of him during his absence. That part went fine.
But when I gave the journal to him and asked him to do the same thing while he was a very busy Executive Officer on a Coast Guard cutter? Um… not so much.
Rob: When I was out at sea, I needed to be focused on my ship, the crew, and our mission. Out at sea – especially as XO – you’re basically on duty 24/7. Having already spent two years on a cutter before I met Jocelyn, my idea of relaxing was vegging out to a movie in the wardroom – not writing in a journal.
Jocelyn: Clearly, my expectations for that journal were dramatically altered pretty quickly. If I could find it today, it would still be mostly blank.
But it wasn’t just during separations that my craving for Quality Time affected our relationship. Every time Rob got home from being underway, I needed my love tank to be filled. I wanted to just soak up time with him, just us. So when he wanted to go hang out with friends right away after being at sea, I took it very personally. I felt hurt and unloved.
Rob: We had been assigned to a little town in Alaska where I had already spent two years on a previous Coast Guard tour, and had built up a great network of friends. I was looking forward to reconnecting with them and at first it was a little frustrating that Jocelyn seemed to want to monopolize my home time. I totally didn’t realize her Quality Time needs, and if I had, I definitely could have been more sensitive to them.
Jocelyn: Rob’s primary love language is Acts of Service. Oh, how I wish I had discovered this early on! I was fairly independent already, since I have already lived on my own in Washington, D.C. But then I made the mistake of expecting Rob to do some of the same things my dad had done—even though Rob was gone much of the time. (Not smart, I know.) I let some things go and just made a list of things for Rob to fix or do upon his return. My thought was, “He’s the husband. He should do these things.”
Rob: But my thought when I got back home after a few weeks out at sea was, “Oh great, I’m just a handyman now.” And I’m not very handy! So after weeks and weeks of “XO, do this – XO, do that” from the ship’s captain, I felt like I was in the same situation at home…with nobody to delegate to! I was already tired, so I would spend the first couple of days home in a sour mood. If she had taken care of those chores without me, I would have felt much more loved. She just didn’t understand my love language.
The moral of our story, of course, comes back to this:
  1. The things that make you feel loved may not also help your spouse feel loved.
  2. You can learn to love your spouse the way he or she can receive it.
from: http://www.startmarriageright.com/2013/09/what-we-wish-we-knew-before-we-began-our-military-marriage/

Your views are most welcome...

8 LEADERSHIP AND BUSINESS LESSONS FROM APPLE AND SAMSUNG

 


Apple and Samsung both made major announcements in the past month. iPhone 5S and C, a curved glass Samsung phone, 64 bit processors, fingerprint privacy control and more.
What the companies said to the world reflects two very different strategies. But both excel at what they do. Apple is the most successful service company on the planet. Samsung is a manufacturing and innovation powerhouse. What have we learned from them in recent weeks about where strategy and leadership should focus?
The short answer is we are learning about how the future of business is being bedded-in by two extraordinary practitioners. The longer answer is we can also learn a lot from the conflict between them:

1. Business is about the platform. Apple is no longer a product business, despite the apparent dependency on the iPhone. It is a platform business and its leadership lies in continuously developing the potential of its platform. If you want an insight into Apple, look at the iPhone 5S. Its major innovation is the A7 chip and what that does is open up a new word of service – contextual computing for example, and interaction with data rich services in monitoring, personal data, health data, location services etc. Apple continues to win on profits because it has mastered, indeed is inventing, platform and ecosystem business strategy.
Look at the form-factor of the iPhone and you see it is more or less unchanged. The 5C has different colors but there is no underlying innovation to go with them – no innovation in material to justify the superficial design change. In fact the 5C is an anti-Ive product. A designer of Ive’s stature should not slap color on a phone without some underlying justification like making use of a ceramic or other innovative material. But that’s ok, because Apple is innovating the platform and it has not been swayed by criticism of the product. Thaat’s how it keeps Samsung at bay.
Leadership lesson?  Leaders need total focus on business transformation – from product to multiple services and revenue streams built around platform and ecosystems where possible. It’s a really durable competitive position to build.

2. Making the big calls still matters. Samsung responded to Apple’s iPhone 5S A7 chip by saying it too was ready with a 64 bit processor. It pre-empted Apple with a wearable device – the Galaxy Gear smart watch. And launched the new Note, having already launched 4 flagship S4 phones, its ATIQ range of tablets and laptops, and various low cost phones during the year.
Samsung has created an entirely new pace of innovation in hardware, turning technical novelty into a commodity that only it has mastered. To do that though requires big calls on future technologies. Samsung took 10 years to develop efficient production of OLED, its display technology. The investments the company makes are mind-boggling, dwarfing Apple and every other company I can think of. It’s technology investment for 2012 were $41 billion according to Reuters. OLED factories cost billions to set up and run. Few companies will pony up – think Intel in its heyday. But investment muscle is sometimes the only way to compete with an agile leader like Apple.
Leadership lesson? There is still scope for hardware innovation but the commitments are huge, beyond the willingness of many western business leaders. Bigger investment risks need to come back on the agenda.

3. Design is a commodity. Design has become a necessary but not a sufficient ingredient of success. The Samsung Galaxy Gear is a design failure. The S4 is a success. But, as its compatriot Hyundai has shown, it is possible to buy success simply because good design skills are now freely available on the market. There is no longer any excuse for design failure.
But Apple is showing us, ironically, that design is not so central as it was when they launched the iPhone. The new 5s have the same form factor with a few tweaks. More critical is the design of the overall package – the service experience including what connectivity the service allows.
Leadership lesson? Companies can’t afford to overlook great design but nor can they rely on it. Good leaders will be looking for the next design advantage – integrating service, software, hardware and connection.

4. Charisma is no longer necessary. A development that is difficult for some Apple observers to accept is that the company is going from strength to strength without the charismatic leadership of Steve Jobs. Tim Cook has done a great job at Apple, involving teams to help him turn the tanker slowly around. Samsung is able to respond because of its broad-based innovation capabilities. It can innovate across chips, materials, displays, production processes, design, all with a view to compensating for its lack of service skills. Those latter however have to be put in place soon or Samsung will miss the value it is creating in its customer base. Both companies are showing that large and growing enterprises are still relevant.
Leadership lesson?  Innovation is a broadly based skill set, far removed from the old days when a good product could meet a big marketing budget and win markets. It’s no longer about charisma either but finding more social ways to bring innovations through to market.
The short answer is we are learning about how the future of business is being bedded-in by two extraordinary practitioners. The longer answer is we can also learn a lot from the conflict between them:

1. Business is about the platform. Apple is no longer a product business, despite the apparent dependency on the iPhone. It is a platform business and its leadership lies in continuously developing the potential of its platform. If you want an insight into Apple, look at the iPhone 5S. Its major innovation is the A7 chip and what that does is open up a new word of service – contextual computing for example, and interaction with data rich services in monitoring, personal data, health data, location services etc. Apple continues to win on profits because it has mastered, indeed is inventing, platform and ecosystem business strategy.
Look at the form-factor of the iPhone and you see it is more or less unchanged. The 5C has different colors but there is no underlying innovation to go with them – no innovation in material to justify the superficial design change. In fact the 5C is an anti-Ive product. A designer of Ive’s stature should not slap color on a phone without some underlying justification like making use of a ceramic or other innovative material. But that’s ok, because Apple is innovating the platform and it has not been swayed by criticism of the product. Thaat’s how it keeps Samsung at bay.
Leadership lesson?  Leaders need total focus on business transformation – from product to multiple services and revenue streams built around platform and ecosystems where possible. It’s a really durable competitive position to build.

2. Making the big calls still matters. Samsung responded to Apple’s iPhone 5S A7 chip by saying it too was ready with a 64 bit processor. It pre-empted Apple with a wearable device – the Galaxy Gear smart watch. And launched the new Note, having already launched 4 flagship S4 phones, its ATIQ range of tablets and laptops, and various low cost phones during the year.
Samsung has created an entirely new pace of innovation in hardware, turning technical novelty into a commodity that only it has mastered. To do that though requires big calls on future technologies. Samsung took 10 years to develop efficient production of OLED, its display technology. The investments the company makes are mind-boggling, dwarfing Apple and every other company I can think of. It’s technology investment for 2012 were $41 billion according to Reuters. OLED factories cost billions to set up and run. Few companies will pony up – think Intel in its heyday. But investment muscle is sometimes the only way to compete with an agile leader like Apple.
Leadership lesson? There is still scope for hardware innovation but the commitments are huge, beyond the willingness of many western business leaders. Bigger investment risks need to come back on the agenda.

3. Design is a commodity. Design has become a necessary but not a sufficient ingredient of success. The Samsung Galaxy Gear is a design failure. The S4 is a success. But, as its compatriot Hyundai has shown, it is possible to buy success simply because good design skills are now freely available on the market. There is no longer any excuse for design failure.
But Apple is showing us, ironically, that design is not so central as it was when they launched the iPhone. The new 5s have the same form factor with a few tweaks. More critical is the design of the overall package – the service experience including what connectivity the service allows.
Leadership lesson? Companies can’t afford to overlook great design but nor can they rely on it. Good leaders will be looking for the next design advantage – integrating service, software, hardware and connection.

4. Charisma is no longer necessary. A development that is difficult for some Apple observers to accept is that the company is going from strength to strength without the charismatic leadership of Steve Jobs. Tim Cook has done a great job at Apple, involving teams to help him turn the tanker slowly around. Samsung is able to respond because of its broad-based innovation capabilities. It can innovate across chips, materials, displays, production processes, design, all with a view to compensating for its lack of service skills. Those latter however have to be put in place soon or Samsung will miss the value it is creating in its customer base. Both companies are showing that large and growing enterprises are still relevant.
Leadership lesson?  Innovation is a broadly based skill set, far removed from the old days when a good product could meet a big marketing budget and win markets. It’s no longer about charisma either but finding more social ways to bring innovations through to market.

5. Lean is working. Big companies are also rushing failures to market. Apple ad Samsung have both been there (Gear, some iOS7 features, and Maps!). What’s interesting though is that these super-corporations are trying to be nimble. Despite the wealth and leadership they want to do lean. Yet still they don’t quite know how to set it up so they are not panned. Doing the right PR around lean is a skill for both to learn.
Leadership lesson? The crowd, the customer base or the ecosystem is essential to your decision making. Best to be explicit about it.

6. Narrow innovation rules. We don’t hear enough about how innovation is changing but it is. Ever since Chris Andersen wrote The Long Tail in 2004 narrow niche markets have become increasingly important. Smartphone markets are shaped by the many narrow, self-electing markets of consumers who buy apps. In effect a smartphone is a narrow innovation platform. But smartphone markets are also changing. Behind Samsung and Apple a new generation of niche suppliers is growing – read abut here in this Juniper report. The next generation of smartphones will nibble away at Apple and Samsung market share in the hope or capturing some of the margin.
Leadership lesson? You have to combine the big vision for your company with an appreciation of all the niches you now need to serve and protect, and a narrow innovation strategy for doing it.

7.  Today’s markets demand new decision processes. Every corporate leader I talk to says the same. The rate of strategic adaptation they face is mind-blowing.You can see at Apple and Samsung. Apple incorporated innovations in Siri, iTunes Radio, iBeacons, multitasking, control center, notifications and many more in iOS 7.
Samsung gave us 4 S4s and will soon launch a curved glass phone, which will have involved hundreds of decisions on production line set up. These innovations represent innovation after innovation – iTunes Radio alone involves multiple decisions and negotiations on the business model and where to generate and distribute revenues, and when (ads, downloads, song royalties). At the same time Samsung has been trying to generate crowd ideas about future phones, devolving some elements of decision making to its ecosystem.
If you are not revising your strategy monthly , seeking out advantage in new niches, revisiting your core skills to see where you can find adjacencies, seeking out new competencies so you can enter new markets, then your business is at best a commodity one. But most companies are set up with old fashioned hierarchy-based decision processes (or get hidebound and make no decisions).
Leadership lessons? You can’t just delegate decisions, you need new decision models.

8. Be passionate without over-committing. Samsung remains a key supplier of innovation to Apple, like the A7 chip. Apple and Samsung still work together closely.
Leadership lesson? No amount of passion and commitment should blind you to pragmatic decisions.
from irriri.blogspot.com

Your views are most welcome...

Monday, 7 October 2013

THE BEST BUSINESS PARTNER YOU CAN EVER HAVE IS YOUR WIFE

THE BEST BUSINESS PARTNER YOU CAN EVER HAVE IS YOUR WIFE
Written by Uju Onyechere
 
The Holy Book says who ever finds a wife, finds a good thing. Reason why Goethe remarked "A wife is a gift bestowed upon man to reconcile him to the loss of paradise."

Women though emotional are very spiritual. They have a way of seeing what the men are not seeing. Many business and professional deals have been secured or saved because of a wife's intervention.

It is a known fact that an obedient wife leads the husband. Women are very powerful. Anybody who thinks otherwise is just fooling himself. "All wives are unjustly slighted," observed Terence, "for the faults of a few."

Beauty should not be the deciding factor in the choice of a wife. When a man's love for his wife is based merely on her youth charm and beauty, that love doesn't last long enough because those qualities will fade away.

The happiest man in the world is the one who has a good wife. Nothing earthly gives a man more inspiration and incentive than a true wife. A good wife makes a good husband. The greatness of many men is merely the possession of a clever wife.

According to Socrates "If you get a good wife you will become very happy. If you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher." A Kenyan proverb states that the man maybe the head of the home, the wife is the heart.

When you get a praise from your wife, you will know that it is praise indeed. It was Kin Hubbard who observed that, "Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best." A cheerful wife is the joy of life.

It will be great to incorporate your wife into what you are doing. Not necessarily to work in the same environment, but share your dreams. Their in puts always make a difference.
Men like Leo Stan Ekeh are proud of their wives involvement in their businesses because they married RIGHT.
Dear men, may God help you to marry the right person.

Dear Lord, bless all our wives and give them the wisdom and good health to support their husbands the more in Jesus name.
 


Your views are most welcome...

How I Overcame zero confidence in my entrepreneurial abilities and rights.




After holding exactly two “normal” retail jobs in college, I decided that I got around zero satisfaction from working for a corporation, and that my real professional ambition in life was to call my own shots, work on my own terms, and start my own business.

This decision absolutely thrilled me for about 2 days, Then reality hit.

I had some major roadblocks to get around: I was only 20, had no real business experience to speak of, and didn’t have a clue how to create, market, and actually sell a product or service. What I didn’t realize then was that none of those issues were really my problem.  The number one thing actually holding me back from starting my own business was that fact that I had zero confidence in my entrepreneurial abilities and rights.

Who was I to pretend I was a business owner; I had only recently stopped qualifying as a right-off on my parent’s taxes.

Who would take me seriously?


Take Life-Long Education Seriously







 One of the biggest confidence-boosters in business is feeling like you know your stuff.  So invest in some good online courses, some classes at your local community college, or even a business coach.  Read lots of books on business and your industry.  Subscribe to blogs written by the experts in your niche. ask questions and don't be too proud to work and learn for free from experts.

Stay on top of trends, techniques, and the good ol’ basics and I promise your confidence will start to increase big time.

Invest In a Professional Image










Have you ever bought some new clothes that just made your look and feel great?  When you put them on, you felt confident.

The same sort of thing happens when you have a snazzy, professional online presence.  When you have a great website or some beautiful businesses cards, your business starts to feel real.  Your entrepreneurial ambitions grow some true roots.

Even if you haven’t gotten a single paying client or customer yet – even if the only one you’ve told your business idea to so far is your cat – invest in a professional image.

Build (or have someone build for you) a nice website.  Put some professional, credibility boosting copy on it, and make yourself some business accounts on social media platforms. deal with clients professionally and treat your business as a corporation from start.

A professional image will make you feel 100x more legit.  If you wait until your business is a success to invest in it then, well…you might never have a reason to invest.


Take a deep breath – now, go




Back when I started out, I spent endless hours tweaking my website, completing online courses, and reading every business book in the entire local library system.

And it really helped.

But I was still stuck.  I had done all I needed to prepare myself and my business, but I still wondered in the back of my mind “do I really have what it takes to do this?”

In fact, I never stopped wondering that until I did something crazy: I sent out a letter and landed my first client.

Was I terrified?  Yes.

Was it the best thing I ever did for my business?  Absolutely.

The truth is you’ll never know if you’re cut out for the solo-business life until you actually try it.  Nothing in the world will convince you that you have what it takes more than selling a product to a satisfied customer or finishing a project for a grateful client.

So no matter how nervous you are, the most important step in gaining confidence as an entrepreneur is putting yourself out there and actually running your business.

You might feel like a fraud the first time you tell a client “Yes, I can have this done by next Monday!” or answer the “what do you do question” with “I run my own business”.

But just remember: you’ve done your homework, you’re good at what you do, and everybody starts at the beginning.

In a short time, you’ll look back and wonder why it took you so long to do this in the first place.

Your views are most welcome...

TOP 3 QUALITIES I SEARCH FOR BEFORE I’LL PROPOSE



TOP 3 QUALITIES I SEARCH FOR BEFORE I’LL PROPOSE
                Here are my musings on what my wife cannot afford not to have. The idea of writing it out struck me after dating or meeting with many ladies but find it difficult to actually consider any of them for a serious relationship that will make me want to sign the dotted lines or pronouncing to the whole world that ‘I Do!’ One of my mentors, ‘Tunde Alabi of FHL Networks asked me if I liked to be “hooked up” which I consented to because I love adventure… I see it as another ultimate search! But he asked me what am looking for and or expecting; his warnings are that I be specific and at least give three top things I cannot do without or tolerate.
                After a serious critical probing, I find myself with these three points which to me are the pillar that can help the marriage stand and withstand any storm or rage like the wall of Gibraltar. Note: my number one assumption is that we share the same Faith! That is unarguable – No Talk without FAITH.
  • She must be helplessly and adventurously romantic. To many youth now, sex is now a tool to them to seal, guarantee, and secure their relationship, but not only am I totally against Pre-marital sex and love abstinence, I discovered that romance is the fuel and oil that power love in a relationship. Yes, romance does not necessarily mean sex. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, romance is an emotional attraction or aura belonging to an especially heroic era, adventure, or activity. Romance is therefore an activity that fosters EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION. Sex to me is an insatiable end in itself, but what make sex satisfactory is the romance preceding it and after it. That is why they call legal sex making LOVE, because love is being created when romance is interwoven into a marital relationship. By now you should have know that the kind am talking about is not the necking and pecking of few minutes before a sex, but an activity that has become something of a reflex action that naturally makes one’s partner ‘fall’ in love all over again!
  • She must be highly intelligent. Intelligence here is not degree acquired, or certificate, but ability to be able to think ahead and be smart in listening and making meaningful contribution. Gone are the days when it is said that women are not heard. I am looking for a helpmeet; therefore ability to think in my wave length is highly demanded. Not mummy or girlish kind of philosophy, real mature way of thinking that can view issues unbiased from different perspective before concluding or making her judgment. I detest a woman like most Nigerian Senators and Honourables that are purely in the house as I Support members – no meaningful contribution and ideas of  their own than  I support what has been  said!
  • Lastly, for the top three, she must be forgiving!
I don’t promise not to offend you,
I don’t promise not to fumble or falter
I don’t promise to be perfect; though I will try to better,
But sure, I will make my fair share of mistakes and misjudges
Yes, I will not lie about them; I will own up and be responsible
I will confess them and work on them,
But you thou my wife, must know am not a finished product
I am a ‘work-in-progress’ therefore be gentle with me
Be prepared to forgive me in it ALL
Not like Tiger Wood’s estrange wife that demand $350 million as surety
But freely without string attached to it!
Yes what am saying is that there shouldn’t be any offense that my wife won’t be able to forgive me even without the intervention of the third party; and who will not nag about them or always bring them into view all the time indifferent situations!
 
 


Your views are most welcome...