PARENTING: 7 THINGS THAT CAN HELP YOUR FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP

The father-son relationship can be complex and also be hard to relate to one another. Here are some key elements to creating and building a strong father-son relationship.

1.     Recognize a son is influenced by the father. Our sons learn about being a man primarily by watching and listening to their fathers. As he watches his dad interact with other men, he will learn how men talk, as a young man watches his father interact with his mother, he learns about respect (or disrespect), and about how men and women interact and about how men should deal with conflict and differences. How to relate with one another and how they deal with masculine issues. Fathers who understand their influence on their sons will help them think more in-depth about the relationship and take it more seriously.

2.     Develop common interests. Learn about each other. Take the time to talk about what you’re both interested in and then take part in the activities. If your son enjoys listening to Led Zeppelin, take the time to listen with him or go on Youtube to watch some videos. Also, ask your son to be a part of some of the hobbies you enjoy. You never know, he might like the things you do and can become a great bonding activity or more.

3.     Get a little wild. I think a lot of boys, especially teenage boys, like to be active and play rough. The little bit of wild behavior can become a bonding experience, but, remember to keep them safe. Some wrestling in the backyard can possibly translate into activities such as weight lifting, football, skateboarding or ice hockey.

4.     Do something meaningful together. Some dads and sons build a tree house or take a trip together. Whatever it is, organize a meaningful experience your son will remember and enjoy that will last a long time and make memories you will talk about together for decades.

5.     Don’t be afraid of the big talk. Take the time to teach your sons about sex and relationships. Being open to having these conversations will help your son develop better attitudes about sex and girls in general. You will find your relationship will become stronger after this type of conversation.

6.     Focus on the positives. We are bombarded with negative messages all around us. Just watching commercials on television can create a sense of insecurity in your teenage son. They’ll think they’re not strong enough or attractive enough like the men they see in magazines. Fathers should create positive ways to celebrate accomplishments providing them encouragement which will help your son overcome negativism they confront.

7.     Make one on one time. We need to make time for individual relationships with each child. Spending one on one time with your son will make him feel you want to personally get to know him. This also allows little distractions and an opportunity for you to be completely present with him.

Fathers focusing on their sons will then develop a nurturing and meaningful relationships thereby helping their sons to form attitudes which will allow them develop into happy and successful men.

Originally published at teenagesons.com

 




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4 Signs Your Guy Is The Prince Charming You’ve Been Looking For!

The odd thing about falling for someone is that for the duration of the infatuation period, he seems perfect. But, it is worth noting that “loving another person” and “infatuation” are two entirely different things. When we are infatuated, we remain in a bubble. At the commencement of a relationship, nonetheless, it is difficult to really see past the bubble.

So, how do you know that you have found your Prince Charming at the beginning of a relationship, when you are still blinded by bliss and excitement and cannot tell the difference between romance that is true and that which is superficial? Look for these four signs:

1. He Respects You

Respect, especially at the beginning of a relationship, is paramount. How can you possibly be with someone you don’t regard with admiration? Without respect, a relationship is doomed.

It is a prerequisite for love. That being said, it is not a necessary perquisite for infatuation. Therefore, it is entirely possible for new couples to lack respect for one another without even realizing it.

Adoring a person does not imply you respect him or her. Respect, in many cases, takes time. This, of course, raises the cliché that respect is earned and not simply granted.

Nonetheless, even at the start, there is a certain level of respect that is demonstrated on each individual’s part. Look for subtle actions: He asks your advice on work-related matters, consults you about decisions that impact his life, speaks highly of you to his friends beyond simply your physical appearance, etc.

2. He Is Constant

When a relationship commences, we are on our best behavior; we are kind, considerate, caring and sweet as can be. It is as if we all become poets and profound romantics, regardless of how nonchalant our characters were prior to meeting this superior being for whom we have fallen.

A person’s true colors only show as time passes. A man may act like the sweetest guy on earth at the beginning, but after a few months, he may turn out to be rather barbaric. So, how do you know whether or not your man is the sweet, good-natured individual he is presenting himself to be?

Keep your eye out for Jekyll and Hyde moments. Try to spend time with him in various contexts rather than just alone with him. Does he treat you the same way in front of his friends, family and colleagues?

In a past relationship of mine, the guy was extremely sweet for the first six months or so. However, whenever a dilemma at work arose, his kindness wore off and he took his work-related stress out on me. I, naturally, excused him of this demeanor because as humans, we sometimes take out our frustrations on the ones we love. Looking back, this was an obvious red flag and I should have been wiser from the start to detect his true colors. I spend a lot of time with my current boyfriend — perhaps more than I have ever spent with any other man from my past — and his behavior toward me is constant. It is unwavering, despite stress related to work, anxiety or any external pressures. This is the sign of a real man — a man who can handle his issues maturely and who does not take advantage of what he has.

3. He Supports Your Ambitions

Different things make different people happy. For one person, working in the corporate world and making a decent salary may be fulfilling; whereas for another, money alone may not cut it. A more emotionally satisfying career may be someone’s priority.

Ultimately, whatever you truly want to do with your life, your partner must support it. I have learned the hard way that relationships — no matter how perfect they may be in some ways — are destined to fail if this aspect is not in place.

Moreover, it works both ways. A woman must endorse her partner’s life goals, as well. Too often, we overlook this feature of a relationship in the beginning.

We think, “This person is so wonderful that I don’t care if he is a millionaire or if he has a dollar to his name.” But take one step back. Is that really how you feel?

What’s more is that even if that is how you feel, what about him? Does he have certain expectations in regards to your ambitions? Couples don’t really bring up these issues at the commencement of a partnership because they extract us from the psychological wonderland of romance in which we have immersed ourselves.

4. He Listens And Actually Cares

There is a massive difference between passive and active listening. When we are drowning in obsession, so to speak, we tend to act like we are concerned with our significant others’ problems.

In reality, we simply enjoy consoling them, but this does actually require us to sincerely care. I have dated men who appear to be deeply engaged in what I am saying, as if I am telling them the secret to life itself.

But upon finishing my thoughts, I have asked their opinions and feedback, only to have them respond with compliments regarding my physical appearance and nothing even remotely related to what I said. Your man should take you seriously.

He should respond with inquiries to better comprehend a matter if it is unclear. There are plenty of obvious ways to discern whether he is actively listening. Do not get swayed by his flattery and completely dismiss this critical aspect.

I have been through my fair share of letdowns with men. I was so close to giving up on believing that my Prince Charming was somewhere out there for me. Luckily, right at this moment, the man of my dreams showed up.

It took no time at all for me to realize what an amazing human being he is. I now find myself happier than ever in a genuine, affectionate relationship. There may be such a thing as fairytale happy endings, after all.

Originally appeared at Elite Daily

 


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HOW TO GET MORE SEX WHEN YOUR WIFE IS NURSING A BABY

Studies show that kids drive a stake through the heart of a romantic relationship. Marital satisfaction plummets after the birth of a child. No wonder. Kids are a lot of work. Young parents have less discretionary time for fun, and more time to argue about whose turn it is this time to get the kid to stop bawling. And, a study of postpartum women found that a large percentage have little or no interest in sex.

Young Dads may feel particularly frustrated, even resentful, when they aren’t getting enough sex in those months (maybe years) after their kid is born. It sucks to be asked to move on down the bench. But, a smart guy doesn’t whine about his predicament, make his partner feel guilty, or joke about his woeful sex life in front of others.

Nope, a smart guy creates the best possible environment to improve his chances. Bruce Springsteen sang it best in Dancing in the Dark: You can’t start a fire without a spark. As a young Mom many moons ago there were a few things that lit my fire.

Here are my three pieces of advice to new Dads, based on my own experience.

Make her feel interesting.

My theory is that brain cells leak out through breast milk. I haven’t found a study to prove it, but I’m sure this happened in my case. My husband did not make fun of my inability to memorize the words to The Wheels on the Bus, or for not being able to discuss the Geo-political situation in Katmandu. No one feels sexy when they are feeling stupid (and wearing spit up on clothes that are three sizes too big). He listened with interest about my new world—from stuff I was reading in parenting books to local gossip in the playground.

Most women need an emotional connection before they desire a physical one.

Take charge, and take over.

Many young mothers complain about how their partners are like another child. They always feel they are “on call” even when their partner is looking after the baby, which makes it difficult to take a complete physical and mental break. I have a bright husband so it was irritating when he had to ask me where the extra package of diapers was, how much water to add to the cereal, or whether this amount of spit up was normal. I could definitely see his Inner Adonis more clearly when he applied his considerable problem-solving skills independently.

Work on her schedule.

Operating like a 24/7 milk canteen certainly dampened my desire for even more physical contact. If there was ever a time for my husband to be flexible about when sex happens, this was it. My biorhythms certainly changed post-kids (I seemed to have given birth to two vampires) so if I was in the mood at 5 am, well; it was up to him to strike while the iron was hot.

Yup, the sad truth is that dads with young kids probably get less sex. But rather than fretting about this sad state of affairs, a far better strategy is to keep the small sparks of desire burning until the fireworks can begin again.

Written by Sue Nador

 


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