The Unspoken Words Of An House Maid

The Unspoken Words Of A House Girl

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I'm a house girl
Well, that's what they call me
My name is Ayo
But in my life, there is no joy
Although there is no joy
I have to smile and act like all is well.
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My Oga forgets my name most times. When I hear him shout: "Omo yii da?" (Where is this child?) I know he's looking for me to do one work or the other.
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Work work work is all I do.
I have no life... I am just a house help.
My madam cannot do without me.
The only thing I don't do is bathe her.
I have been loyal to her but she treats me like a rag. And if I dare look at her husband's face when I greet him She'll thinks I want to snatch him.
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Madam's children are treated like Princesses
I am a slave for these children Although they are same age as me, they wear pretty clothes but I have no choice but to wait for those clothes to become rags before they will dash me to wear.
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Gateman and driver think I am their automatic entitlement just because I am a house girl
Why do people think that house helps will sleep with driver or gateman?
Just because I am a house help does not mean I have no respect for my self! :
Life has not been kind to me Misfortune has followed me from the day I was born. If I had a choice in life, I would never choose the life that I have.
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Everyone treats me less than a human and I have no right to complain. People call you different names. I am the only one that knows who I really am. :
House helps are seen as witches, thieves, husband-snatchers, Gateman's girlfriend, driver's girls, 'slaves' etc.
But God knows who I am.
I do my best to make the house function, yet no one respects me.
I don't get commendation only condemnation
I am the first to rise in the morning and the last to go to bed, still no one ever asks how I'm coping! :
Life is cruel I must say
I hate to wake another day
Before you treat me the way you do, remember I have feelings just like you
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Please share this post if you are against the maltreatment of house-helps. Every day they are mistreated, beaten, raped & even killed. They may have no voice but we can speak up for them.
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THE SPIRITUALITY OF ROMANCE... (1)

THE SPIRITUALITY OF ROMANCE

Christian Marriage Must Involve Romantic Intimacy

 

In the whole of the Holy Book, there's a book that seems odd, and out of place which many Christians view as not spiritual enough or not on the same spiritual level with others - the book of Song of Solomon.

Why?
Because Songs of Solomon is the story of love and PURE expression of ‪#‎Romantic‬ love between a ‪#‎Couple‬. Some have tried to spiritualize it by saying its an allegory of God's love, for either Israel or the Church, but the fact still remain, the book is a romantic book.

Does that makes it less spiritual?
No!

Most people believe in love... Even atheists, and many say God is love... Which agrees with the Holy Book. The question is: if God is love, How do we know?

He EXPRESSED it. (John 3:16)
Is that spiritual? Yes!

Many also argues that we are created in God's image... As he is, so we are... So if God express, Communicate His love, and it is spiritual, what makes our communication/expression of love within the Most Holy Institution - Marriage, less spiritual?

The Church and indeed many Christians shy away from in-depth teachings and discussions on Romantic Love, especially romance and intimacy, other than an attitude of silence which left majority to decipher... We will cross the bridge when we get there!

God did not make a mistake by inspiring those who canonized the scripture to include that unique book in it, or else the Bible wouldn't have been The Total Book for a Total Man - The book that address every aspect of one's life... Including the romance... No matter how unspiritual that sounds.

The book of Songs of Solomon is a book of the Bible that is dedicated to Love and Romance and in tally with the whole concept and teaching of the Bible... Within marriage.

To be continue...

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FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS: Sight and Touch

FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS: Sight and Touch

A woman can see a naked handsome man fifty times, yet she might not lose her sense. Whereas, if a half naked beautiful woman passes by a man once, his pace would be distorted. Meanwhile, fifty casual touches may not move a man while a single gentle touch can cause disarray in a woman’s life. What a man’s touch is to a woman, the nakedness of a woman is to man!

An average man is tempted everywhere; he looks at a carelessly dressed lady, be it in the office, school, internet, T.V, movies, billboards or magazines. It is now unfortunate that the only safe place an average man can sleep and close his two eyes, the church, is no longer secure, all in the name of, ‘come as you are’ or ‘it’s the heart that matters’ cliché.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ONE CAN SAY TO HER?

If not all women, for we can not talk of others who has a different moral standard, at least Christian women should be very careful not to make men stumble because of how they dress. It is not easy for a man to touch a woman anyhow, so their possibility of tempting a woman through touch as women tempt men through their sight is abysmally low. Therefore, when men come to church, they should be able to have a quality break from this assault, and be able to rest.

However, immodest dressing cannot be ELIMINATED, it can only be reduced. So, men must learn to discipline their eyes and control their sexual urges in this age of immodesty. You cannot control what others wear, but you can control what your eyes feed on.

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I LOVE YOU… SO?

“I LOVE YOU… SO?”

Why this post?

“I Love You,” is a simple word that is presupposes to be understood by everyone, even babies, but, sincerely speaking I believe that the 3 words are the most misunderstood, and or most under-understood.

If I may ask you as a reader what does I Love means to you?

Yes take a sec. to think. But while you are thinking let me tell you what I believe “I love you” is and does means. And how best to use it, and accept it when it is used on us.

Sincerely, the phrase is just a STATEMENT of feelings and opinion of someone about you. It might be wrong or right, that is left for you to find out.

There are other situations that it might means a response, from a grateful heart to actions or words received.

Therefore, I Love You is a response to what one feels and thinks about you, your actions, words, kindness etc.

The problem is, “I Love You” is not an objective statement, it is very subjective, and can change if and when what necessitate the feelings of expressing it in the first place changes. This means I Love You need to be maintained and sustained either by what necessitate it in the first place or by other things. For example, the centre of attraction that might necessitate a man to say the words might be something related to the physical, (complexion, shape etc) but it might be sustain by the lady’s show of other sides to her like intelligence, diligence etc.

Many have make this error… in trying very hard initially to gain this response from the other, while lacking the will to continually pursue those things in order to continue to receive those responses. This is what is later known as Hypocrisy or Pretense.

How best to use I Love You is to be ready to continually do those things that you are doing that best guarantee you a positive result in response. The gifts must not stop, the time spending and sharing must not reduce if not increased, the thoughtful things and selflessness in taking care first of him/her must not change in the future to the ME with capital letters.

This is the absolute responsibility of saying those 3 words!

This is what is called COMMITMENT!

So if you are not ready don’t say it!

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Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line

Before You Seek to meet the Next Person off-line

 

I spent a good part of a week recently getting to know a new woman online, and I could sense the potential. I could admire her good looks, dark eyes, and flashing wit. And yet there was something that wasn’t coming across. I couldn’t decipher it right away. I was hopeful and encouraged by our promising start. And her persistence in getting back together again the next day. “Spontaneously.” I loved that. “Yes, yes, yes,” it said to my brain.

But …

In my joyous engagement I was missing something from her that I couldn’t identify. I thought I was listening well, responding well, and behaving well. I thought we were moving things along nicely. But I could only make those assumptions about myself and my own thinking. While she was sharing a lot about life and asking a lot of questions about me, she wasn’t really lighting up. She was … reserved. She admitted to being an introvert, and I initially thought, “Oh, that’ll be interesting, to see how I am in relationship to an introvert.”

And even in the real world, with all of our faculties between us, the miss between us was something deeper. After three meetings and the promise of an actual “date” for the weekend ahead, I was feeling good and yet still mixed. I walked away from our last meeting wondering, “Am I the one pushing this one along? Am I making this one happen? Am I trying to invent my lover?”

The next morning, she pinged me saying she’d considered our time together and felt it wasn’t going to be a match for her. She was canceling the date. And she would catch up with me spontaneously as the occasion might arise in the future.

I was disappointed, but not totally surprised.

I had been feeling the miss, but I was trying to force it to be a match. I wanted “her” to work. And that’s when I understood it was time to kill my online dating profiles. I WANT a relationship too much. My focus has gotten lost in all this browsing, assessing, and pursuit. What I really need to pursue is my dream and my creative output. I am confident that if I do that, the rest will follow.

I have time for a relationship. I have the will and the energy. And if I want to meet a match, I need to put myself and my life in the places where “she” already is. In real life, not online.

Sure, I will have another great love. But first, I must become the great lover I hope to meet, by becoming large enough to call her in, without the help of a dating site.

Always Love,

written by John McElhenney




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